Club. A judge congratulates Alec on his engagement as they banter about Alec's political aspirations. Apparently he wants to be governor now? Refer to my earlier statement about sociopaths. The judge heads the other way, and Rebeccannie admits she's getting pre-wedding jitters. Alec admits he's having a hard time, too, since Thayer isn't taking the news of the wedding in stride. Rebeccannie tells him he's safe as long as they're together, and they lean in for a slimy smooch.
Kristin bounces up to greet them, and Rebeccannie delights in the chance to share the big wedding announcement. Kristin is predictably speechless and finds herself hesitantly accepting their invitation to the wedding. Alec's phone buzzes, so he steps aside. Kristin has composed herself enough to admit that she's happy that her old friend has found happiness. She also mentions to Rebeccannie that she sorted everything out with Ted. Unfortunately, she says it in way that's vague enough for Rebeccannie to blurt out, "Oh, I'm so glad you don't mind that I banged your husband!" (Paraphrasing, of course.) There went Kristin's composure. Rebeccannie: "Whoops! Don't forget to check our registry!"
Out front, Emma drives up and Ethan tries to corner her again. It doesn't work because Kristin is running out of the club in the midst of a breakdown. Emma persists and gets Kristin to sit down with her for a minute, at which point she brings out Rebeccannie's locket. Kristin apologizes again that "Sutton" is in the middle of this mess and climbs in the car to make an escape.
That night, Thayer and Sutton arrive at the Whitehorse trailer to meet up with Dan and his hotshot defense lawyer ex Theresa. Thayer gives them the basic details, and Theresa immediately susses out Alec and Rebeccannie's motivation -- to set it up so Rebeccannie doesn't have to testify against her spouse. Sutton says he knows she's lying, and Sutton fills in the extra details about Ted's affair. She says she doesn't trust Rebeccannie and thinks the whirlwind wedding is proof that something is rotten in Arroyo. Dan tells them they're in over their heads and to leave it to the police.
Mercer house. Laurel talks about how her band was hired to perform. She idly speculates that Rebeccannie might be knocked up. Ted and Kristin are both wildly uncomfortable, and just as quickly as she stirred up this mess, Laurel obliviously heads to her room. Ted tries to cover his own ass, telling Kristin that she won't have to worry about Rebeccannie now that she's getting married to Alec. But Kristin will never stop worrying. She stands with her back turned to Ted, her face crumpled with anguish. Seeing that she's not going to pander to his small talk, Ted shuffles off.