California. Time for some local color! The guys have acquired the services a mechanic straight out of Doc Hollywood, and he tells them they can get back on the road by tomorrow morning. On the upside, Laurel's band won't miss its gig. That does mean, though, that the kids will have to book a motel for the night. And, as we know, a motel is so much more risqué and sexy than Baz's uncle's house. What I'm saying is, bow chicka wow wow.
Back in Phoenix, Kristin explains that part of the reason she let the girls go to Coachella was so she and Ted could have some time to talk things over. Ted is surprisingly chipper and ostensibly willing to put it all on the table. Kristin asks bluntly, "Did you sleep with Rebecca?" Ted laughs like it's the craziest idea ever. Which it's not. When Kristin presents some facts to support her theory, Ted immediately gets defensive. He claims he's trying to protect her, so she asks if the phone call was from her. He says no, it was actually from their fertility doctor telling him the ultrasound that showed Kristin was pregnant was actually a misdiagnosis. Kristin says, "It was my fault?" He insists it wasn't, that he should have been able to put aside distractions and failed to the detriment of someone's life. It's a fairly convincing story, but I smell a rat. Ted knows how willing Kristin is to fall on any old sword that passes her by. At any rate, he promises no more secrets.
So what does he do? Go running straight to Alec and confirm that everything he told Kristin was bunk. Alec insists, she was getting "too close," but Ted thinks Kristin deserves better than a lying liar for a husband. He asks, "What's happened to us, Alec?" Alec says a little too pat, "Life." At any rate, he can't be bothered with Ted's paltry marriage-destroying problems because he's "got [his] own little mini-hurricane brewing." In case you missed that massive undersell, "mini-hurricane" is how Alec describes the fact that there's evidence that he may be a murderer. Alec assures, "It's nothing I can't handle." With a tire iron! He also says it's been nice having Rebeccannie around. Ted eyes him semi-suspicious asking, "Big help?" Alec: "You could say that." And the smile on his face, y'all. It's disgusting. It's the face of a man who is getting lots of oral sex and forgetting that the woman giving it is on the cusp of biting his dick off. Whether Alec's technically guilty or not, his hubris will be his downfall.













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