Trailer. Dan explains the origins of his indentured servitude to Alec to Theresa. She can't believe Dan's been putting up with Alec's blackmail for all these years and that it was the reason they broke up in the first place. He apologizes for screwing up, saying, "We both know how convincing Alec can be." She concedes that point but says something about Derek's murder case isn't right. She suggests they look into it together, then leans in for a serious kiss. It's much the same sentiment as Alec and Rebeccannie shared earlier in their weirdo takedown foreplay but somehow not repellent. In fact, quite the opposite. I'm going to give the credit to the choice of music -- "Black" by Kari Kimmel. With its sultry vibe, the strummy tune has somehow managed to do the impossible: Make Dan Whitehorse sexy. Who knew?
Speaking of sexytimes, Emma and Laurel are still observing the rules of co-ed road tripping by bunking down in the same room. Laurel admits she's nervous about performing, but Emma thinks the butterflies in her stomach have more to do with her obvious attraction to Baz. Laurel rattles off the many reasons why she's holding off on hooking up with Baz and deflects the conversation to the fact that "Sutton" is still in this room as opposed to in Ethan's room having underage, unsupervised sexytimes. In truth, Emma is hiding out because she's afraid to lose virginity and after much hemming, hawing, and blushing, she admits this to Laurel. Having lived with Slutton her whole life, Laurel literally laughs herself off the bed. That moment, particularly Allie Gonino's squeak-cackle was all kind of adorable.
The next morning at the cabin. Thayer is disheartened to tell Sutton everything about Rebeccannie checks out, though it does raise a little suspicion that there is no news coverage of her high-profile divorce. Thayer suggests they ask Rebeccannie if she's technically still married, but Sutton thinks they can do one better by asking her purported ex. They make the call. Rebeccannie's exceptionally chatty former housekeeper tells them the man of the house is out of the country but tells them everything they could ever want to know, including that fact that Rebeccannie returned to Phoenix to reunite with "the love of her life." She says Rebeccannie never told her this guy's name but always wore a photo of this fellow in a locket around her neck. All of a sudden the housekeeper realizes she's blabbing and is all, "Who is this?" Click. The kids assume the housekeeper was talking about Alec but decide to find the locket to confirm it.