Mad Men

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | Grade It Now!
Where Have You Gone, Dick Whitman?

So Joan leads a bunch of empty-headed, giggling women into a room containing numerous small mounted makeup mirrors on the desks and a severe-looking, matriarchal woman. Joan locks the door and tells them that their client wants the women's opinions on their new line of lipstick. Meanwhile, on the other side of the one-way glass, the male regulars are observing the proceedings. Salvatore pours himself a drink, and Joan tells the girls that what they're going to do is called brainstorming. Some bimbo says that sounds intimidating, and thank God Peggy is there so this won't turn into a total debacle. Joan opens up a large lipstick case, and there's vociferous and irritating oohing and aahing. Meanwhile, Salvatore is snarking on the women: "Has no taste...ugly dress...horrible wig." It's a good thing the internet wasn't around back then, or he might have beaten Heather and Jessica to the Go Fug Yourself idea. Harry enters the secret room, setting off a round of insults at the women's expense, and Paul asks, "Anybody mind if I take off my pants?" Laughter ensues, but the editors screw up here, because we get a reaction shot of Ken, when the line was simply begging for one of Salvatore.

On the other side, the severe-looking woman does nothing to soften her image by talking, as she's got a thick, strident German accent. She questions one of the bimbos about her lipstick habits, causing her to stare blankly at Joan. Joan, not surprisingly, enjoys fucking with the woman a little, saying that the question she just asked sounds loaded. Frau Commandant: "It is unloaded, and I insist you curb your editorial comments." Suddenly I want to hang out with this woman. I think she'd be a hoot and a half after a couple extra-large steins of beer. She asks another question and gets another pleading stare toward Joan, prompting her to acidly address Joan: "You, stand over there." Hee. Joan, for her part, moves all of six inches and blows smoke in Frau Commandant's direction. Joan Crawford's got nothing on these two, and tell me Salvatore isn't loving that.

Pete joins the boys, and Roger right after him; as if on cue, Joan waggles her ass in front of the mirror. She then turns to face the boys with her best sultry pout; Ken stands up and cheesily salutes, and the other boys follow, but Roger looks pissed. You should see what she does when she has Carol to play off of, dude. Paul then, referring to Peggy, asks what's with "Mouse Ears" (hee) there; she's sitting by herself quietly observing the proceedings. We get a long look at the bunch of other women blotting their lipstick, and then the one on the end stylishly and in slowish motion drops her paper into a wastebasket filled with it.

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Mad Men




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