Mad Men

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A- | 3 USERS: B
Smoke Does Not Get In Your Eyes…

Don and Midge arrive at the latter's place, and Midge calls to "Perry" that they're there (I called him "Harry" in the recaplet -- I really need to turn on the closed-captioning on my first viewing). Perry, who looks about forty, pours them all some whiskey as Don offers that Midge told him Perry's a playwright. After they have a slug, Midge says she's going to freshen up, and speaking of which, she pours the rest of her drink into Don's glass, and she's certainly going out of her way to prove this "marriage of convenience" thing, because any guy with even a passing interest in her wouldn't be overly thrilled with that move. When she's gone, Perry takes Don into the bedroom (not like that!) and shows him a piece of Midge's artwork, which is all over the room, and claims that it's called "Number Four" and that Midge is doing a series of afterimages, or what she sees when she closes her eyes. Given what we learn Midge is into these days, I'd expect what she sees to be considerably less pedestrian, but whatever, it's not like I'm particularly listening when Perry talks anyway. The point is, Perry clearly wants Don to buy a painting, and when Don balks at the idea, Perry tells him that Midge definitely digs him, and if he bought a painting she'd pretty much do anything. So, your next play is going to be called How I Whored My Wife - It Was Remarkably Easy! Don raises an eyebrow, prompting Perry to explain that "we're not possessive," although I wonder how many times his sexual prowess has been the key to closing an artwork deal here.

He adds that Midge was so excited "when she tracked you down," bringing a whole other creepy element to this scenario, and then Midge reappears and smiles that she knew she shouldn't have left the two of them alone. Honey, you ain't kidding. Perry offers to go get some groceries and "whip up a great meal," except for the part where he has no money and Midge lost her purse, so Don, over Midge's objections, produces a ten-spot, which Perry regards like it's a...well, a bag of heroin. Sometimes the metaphor just isn't necessary. When he's gone, Don takes a moment and then hilariously opines, "He's very interesting," to which Midge just as hilariously bites out, "He's an idiot." Less funny is the part where she adds that Perry's just going to go put Don's ten bucks into his arm, but it's hardly the biggest surprise in the world, given Midge's fairly thin, haggard appearance and the general feeling of something being off ever since she appeared on screen. Midge reiterates that Perry's an idiot before telling Don she just wanted him to buy a painting, and then the two of them sit on the bed, and Don curiously asks Midge what being on heroin is like. Midge: "Like drinking a hundred bottles of whiskey while someone licks your tits." I'm going to have to take her word for it.

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Mad Men




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