Mad Men
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Strange Bedfellows

When they're gone, Herb sleazily compliments Megan's appearance, to which Don gives him an "I can't even, with this" look, deflating Herb a little. Don then asks why they're there, so Herb tells him it's "nothing serious," but he had an idea, and he goes on for a while, but basically, he's got a kid who's been writing very effective flyers for him at some of his lots, so he'd like Don to allow the kid to give input on his work at all stages. This of course being the excuse Don's been craving, he writes down the kid's name, hands it to Herb, and tells him he's going to be handling his account from now on. Herb lectures Don about "overheating," adding that he's having to do somersaults because Don's so touchy, to which Don replies, "Really? A man your size?" Too bad Marie's in the ladies' room -- a spit-take from her would really be a treat. Pushed past his limits, Herb lambasts Pete and Roger before informing Don that he'll end up working for the kid on the card, "and he could teach you somethin'. Like knowin' where your bread is buttered." But as Joan reminded us, Don does not care about money, although he does nastily suggest Herb buy him one last dinner. "I'm tired of taking it out of your account." Herb makes it official that he's "done with all a youse," and just then, the women return, whereupon Don tells them not to bother sitting, as the dinner's over. They're like, "Um...," or at least Megan is; Marie looks like this is Christmas come early. Megan asks if Don's okay, and Don, with a triumphant look at Herb, says he's never felt better. Herb looks chastened that his big power play went this badly, and he says nothing, although Peaches does offer a bubbly, "See you soon!" Aw. She's the dictionary definition of "harmless," and what a fate to be married to this jerk.

At home, Don grabs Megan as soon as she comes into the bedroom despite her protest that Marie needs an aspirin, and I'd like to chalk this up solely to Marie's advice, but I think he's feeling turned on by his dismissal of Herb more than anything else. Soon, they are Doing It, and Marie, sitting in the living room, can't get Bottle of Wine Number Three open fast enough. The phone rings, and when she hears that it's Roger, she tells him not to bother apologizing, and her ire then only increases when she realizes he called to talk to Don. Roger tries telling her "you were next, I swear," which is what every woman, ESPECIALLY Marie, wants to hear. She berates him for dragging her out to dinner with "that disgusting man with his disgusting wife. She's the apple that goes in the pig's mouth." Marie would have livened up that Hawaii season premiere, I tell you what. Roger deliberately tries to tell Marie that "something came up," as if Marie's the kind of woman who's going to fall for lines that will eventually be used on The Brady Bunch, and Marie awesomely calls him out for speaking slowly so she'll understand, and fires back with this deliciously enunciated delivery: "Forget. My. Name." She didn't eat anything, and she's not even slurring in her second language! She hangs up, and it's hard to make that more genius, but Marie does so anyway by proceeding to (a) swig wine directly from the bottle, and (b) hang up immediately when Roger tries calling back. And given that the phone call gave her a respite from her daughter's background moaning, she must be really mad at him.

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