Don and Betty enter the room, and after some kissing, Betty heads into the bathroom, all the while speculating about the going rate for ladies of the evening. When she emerges, she's clad in undergarments that...well, all I'll say is that it must have taken a lot of restraint for Don not to blurt out a dollar amount right there. He settles for a "Wow," and then heads into the bathroom himself. I'm just sorry we don't get to see his topper.
Pete comes home with Valentine's Day chocolates for Trudy; we learn that Hildy is still Pete's secretary before Trudy lets us know that a friend of theirs is newly pregnant. Sensing her obvious chagrin that she's not the one with a bun, Pete tries to console "Tweety," to middling avail. He might do better if he were to drop that nickname.
Apparently the hooker-wear isn't having its desired effect, as Don doesn't seem to be able to get it up. Apparently when you drop the name "Dick," you pay for that decision in unexpected ways. Betty lights a cigarette and tells Don she wishes he'd just tell her what to do. Oh, Betty. You can't play the Madonna and then expect your man to tell you how to be a whore. Don is silent, so Betty offers that they drank too much, and suggests Don eat something. Don obediently calls room service and asks for some food, but Betty ends up taking the phone from him and placing the order herself as Don turns the TV on and, at Betty's request (a quick demonstration that Betty is far more assertive with respect to Don than she was last season) settles on Jackie Kennedy giving a gracious tour of the White House. We then cut to other couples watching the broadcast, starting with Sal and a woman. Well, at least we can figure Trudy isn't going to have anything to be jealous of here, particularly not since Sal asks, "Where's her husband?" Hee. We move on to Joan and the doctor, who are making out as Joan sneaks glances at the program, and then Pete, who's sitting alone eating snacks while his wife is nowhere to be seen. Hey Tweety, I know a guy in publishing who'd be happy to give it a shot any time you'd like. Your children will end up taller that way, too.
Francine! Okay, it's not that the acting isn't uniformly amazing on this show, because it is, but I have to tell you, Anne Dudek was an integral part of the best two-part episode House ever did, and given that she isn't returning to that show, I have to express my unbridled delight that she's back with us here. She's talking about how Jackie seemed nervous, and gives herself a shout-out by opining that it seems like Jackie and JFK were "playing house." Heh, Mad Men writers. Betty lies that she and Don missed the program, as they had "no time for television," and the offhand way she does so to her best friend is interesting, but it could just be that she wants to get to the juicy stuff, which is Juanita and her trickery. Betty lies again in giving the impression that she was the one who called it, and that Don merely agreed with her, and I'm getting kind of tired of her game here already. Francine is the appropriate mix of scandalized and titillated, and Betty notes that New York is expensive. "We forget that." She says that when they were twenty-two, she and Juanita shared a room and talked in the dark, and they wanted the same things. Francine counters that when she was twenty-two and needed money, she'd call her father and tell him she was going to Havana, and he'd respond by sending twenty-five dollars cash in the mail, but it wasn't for her, as he was a degenerate gambler -- he would give her instructions on how to bet it. "And he never won, because I never went." Betty laughs and says that's criminal, which it is, if by "criminal" she means "awesome."