Mad Men

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 1 USERS: B-
Laika Was An Astronaut

Roger rightly assumes that Margaret would hate "Margaux" even more than Margaret, but that's not because she's a mean old meanie who hurts her dad's feelings, it's just because...Roger likes dumb names. "Why is she so angry?" he whines, and it's like, "Have you see this show Mad Men?" He asks, since he can admit that Mirabelle is closer to Margaret's age than his own, how come she's not angry too -- guess somebody already broke that pony -- and she just asks him not to be sad. He wishes that his daughter would talk to him without rolling her eyes, but after all, she's right: he has nothing to say to her. Mirabelle opines that girls love their fathers, painting a woefully inadequate picture of the crazy, creepy crockpot of sexual neurosis that the nuclear family has wrought on them all, so he demonstrates it for her: "You have such beautiful skin! I just want to eat it. I want to suck your blood, like Dracula!" Rather than running as fast and as far as she can away from this situation, she drops her cigarette in some booze and kisses him.

Meanwhile, Joan and Carol are reaching their own little gender freakout party, with two trolls they picked up at a bar and brought back to their apartment for some normalizing behavior. Joan send Carol in for ice and finds the gin, asking Professor Franklin, the elder of the two, about his interest in language. The other guy mentions a passion for carpentry, but nobody cares. Everybody's focused on Joan, who "loves words, and their ways," and Franklin explains that he collects "bad speech," by which he means "racism with a gloss of academia." He relates the charming tale of a Polish janitor of his acquaintance, who once described his bride as "not speaking real good English." Joan laughs, but not as hard as we did at the douche's next line: "I cherish that gift." Joan's breezy and sexy and just a little mean: "Put that in a book and sell it!" Or choke on it. The other troll is like, "Now this is a party!" Everybody ignores him some more. Joan invites Professor Franklin into her boudoir to fix a light fixture, and they vanish. Troll guy says awkwardly, "Well, what are we going to do?" He starts kissing Carol and she looks at him for a second, then makes the call, and smiles: "Whatever you want." He commences doing so. Joan's world.

Eleanor tells Don that he kisses like a married man: "Your own way. No talking about it." She assures him this is a good thing, and after a creepy desperate pause, goes, "Tell me what to do, and I'll do it." He considers her, a little amused, and finally he's like, "Maybe it's this office, but you are selling too hard." She bites her lip and it's a pretty likeable face she makes at this point: she knows he's right and she feels dumb about it, but still with a sense of humor. God knows we can't have that on this show, though, so immediately Mirabelle starts screaming in the other room that something's wrong. "I knew I shouldn't have asked him to do it a second time!" They run inside, where Roger's on his back, sweating and all white, gasping that there's a tank on his chest. Don tells the twins to call an ambulance and scatter, and then as they're carting him away on a gurney, Roger starts calling Mirabelle's name. Don picks up Roger's head by his magical hair and slaps the shit out of him. "Mona. Your wife's name is Mona." Roger swallows, still ghostly, and Don stresses out. It just occurred to me that Don and Joan are kind of the same person. Have they ever had a scene together? That's like Philip K. Dick to think about.

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Mad Men




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