Mad Men

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 1 USERS: B-
Laika Was An Astronaut

Don laughs and Roger tells him that, per the Long Weekend bylaws of Pig Nation, they have to "fall in love a dozen times" while their wives are at the beach. Don begs off, but Roger pushes him, explaining that the whole reason they work so hard is so they can afford to...send their wives to the coast and whore it up. That makes no sense, but making sense is not why Roger is special. He admits that he also wants to use Don's hot ass as bait, which causes Don to titter, and then he suggests that the head down to Casting at four, because if he knows Freddie Rumson, the casting call for this double-sided aluminum campaign is going to be both slow and obvious, which means fanny for all. "When God closes a door, he opens a dress," Roger reminds Don, but that's not God, that's Billy Dee Williams.

Pete trails Peggy through the typing pool; she is friendly but distant, all about the one-word answers. Like when he asks if she's "carrying precious cargo," like his baby that her fat ass is obviously pregnant with, she tells him if he wants to get a look at the proofs she's walking across the office, she refers him to Cosgrove, whose account it is. He calls her a "Minister of Protocol" and asks if Don's talked to Roger about Dr. Scholl's yet. Again, she says, talk to the concerned parties and leave my uterus out of it. He's not having it, finally grabbing at her elbow and asking WTF. She's like, "Excuse me? I'm just trying to do my job, and you're making it really difficult." (That's what she said!) He calls her "Peggy dear" and tells her she's being unprofessional. Oh hell no, is he playing the "your harmless crush" card? Why yes, yes he is. "I cannot believe I'm in this conversation," Peggy says to herself, and he tries to get in on the self-pity, but she decides to just keep telling it like it is. Peggy has this tendency to relate the way things actually are to the way they appear and/or are talked about. It's like unnerving.

"I don't know if you like me, or if you don't like me. I'm just trying to get along here, and every time I walk by I wonder, 'Is are you going to be nice to me? Or cruel?'" Pete's like, "Cruel!? I am married!" Which I don't even know what he means by that, but I'm done with the yellow and green Skittles now and I'm moving on to purple. "Yes, I know. I heard all about how...confusing that can be. Maybe you need me to lay on your couch to clear that up for you again?" Score one for Peggy. Most of the time she makes me want to punch myself in the head, but when she's had enough, girlfriend gets the job done. "That's some imagination you've got! Good thing you're a writer now!" Weak sauce, Peter Campbell, and getting weaker: "What do you need me for?" Um, nothing, you walking sack of enema. Oh no, wait! My bad. Child support.

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Mad Men




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