Mad Men

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 1 USERS: B-
Laika Was An Astronaut

The gay one and the nerdy one, or the less-cute one that only looks like the nerdy one, are down in Casting, flirting with the double-sided aluminum ladies, which are sets of twins. As you can imagine, they're striking out horribly, because they're not really trying, because the ladies are not the point here. At the other end of the hall, which is lined by actual casting couches, the blonde one is being even creepier, as is his wont. He's telling this cute couple of girls about how on the farm you might get a pair of cows born "attached at the back" who, when "cut apart," still wanted to always be together. He asks if that's what happened to the pair of twins in question, and they're kind of dry-heaving in tandem, so I guess that's an answer. Sterling comes sweeping into the scene with such machismo and grandeur you know he's either going to die or get emasculated crazy bad again by the end of the episode. He scares the juniors off with a quickness and immediately picks his set of twins, Eleanor and Mirabelle. They are, of course, redheads with pale skin, because that's his deal, but compared to Joan they're pretty mousy. Just in case everybody didn't get the memo about his giant balls and virile power, Roger dispatches all the other hopefuls, saying that he and Don are using their authority to choose the new faces of Cartwright double-sided aluminum. Classically, it's this and not what he pulls upstairs that counts as his hubris: this is performance for other people, not his own inner weirdness. They giggle, of course, and Roger invites them upstairs, of course, and they agree, of course, and he asks one twin how old she is. Twenty. And the other one? Oh, how they laugh.

Upstairs in Roger's office, things are swanky and gross some more. "Aren't you two a pair of bookends? What do you say, Draper, shall we cast them in bronze and mount them on the credenza?" One of them is like, "Oh my! Everything he says means something else too!" Yeah, honey. You know you have to actually earn respect? It's not his sexism that's making you stupid. One or the other of them notices that it's warm, and Roger explains that they turn the building's air off at five. Don asks Mirabelle what her special talent is, and true to her face, it's dressage. Roger starts creeping out wildly on Eleanor: "Your skin is translucent -- that's see-through -- can I touch it?" She offers her arm, so of course he strokes her thigh up to about her right earlobe, and she giggles. He calls her "soft as a lamb's ear." Don's smile is pasted on. Roger makes Mirabelle feel her sister's cheek, then suggests that they make out. The twins wonder why it is that men always ask them that. The answer is that men are gross, but Roger says that actually it's because "it's a beautiful thing." Done slurps the rest of his drink and tries to escape; Roger calls him "wonderboy" and wishes him a good night. Eleanor kinda wants to leave, kinda wants to stay, and finally she starts dancing around with Don in the middle of the room. "That's nice, dance for us," says Roger, and nuzzles Mirabelle.

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Mad Men




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