Mad Men

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Tit For Splat

Betty is sitting alone at her dining room table having a glass of wine and a cigarette when the doorbell rings; it's Francine, who's made an excuse to come by because she heard about The Great Slap A Divorcee Incident. Francine tells Betty she's worried about her. That makes a billion of us. Betty confesses she doesn't know what happened (although she of course doesn't say anything about the hair), and Francine bitterly says she doesn't know anyone who wouldn't have wanted to do the same. After an oddly-placed remark about how much she hates JFK, Betty wonders what people will think, but Francine tells her they'll be glad to know she's not a marshmallow; people think she's so sweet and perfect. Betty: "I'm not." Hear, hear. Francine assures Betty that Helen will be the one to suffer socially for the incident, but Betty brings up her BEAUTIFUL mother again, and when Francine asks what Dr. Wayne says, I wish I could be the one to answer that she needs to forget everything her mother ever taught her as quickly as possible. Francine says she's dying to try therapy, and Betty tells her that she's pretty sure Dr. Wayne tried to look down her neckline the other day. She goes on that she feels like having men check her out in that way is part of being a success as a woman, but basically confesses that she enjoys it as well, lending credence to my earlier analysis of what happened with Roger. Francine confesses that she's just as into having men check her out as Betty is, and then Betty sends her off, saying nap time is almost over. No wonder Dr. Wayne is having trouble making progress here. I don't even know where to start!

Back in the lobby, Roger mentions they haven't really gone over the Nixon plan. Don't worry -- I'm sure you'll come up with something. Hollis, the elevator attendant for whom Don pulled out the wad of bills, standing in front of an "Out Of Order" sign, tells the two of them that the elevator is, well, out of order. Don asks if they should wait, but Roger points out that they're already late, and speculates that Bertram (whom he refers to as "Cooper," FYI) will have a seizure if they don't get up there soon. Don allows Roger to come up with the idea of taking the stairs, but as Roger leads the way, he gives the attendant a casual salute. The guy looks like he just shit his pants, and I'm sure he doesn't want to be an elevator operator his whole life, but I think based on this performance, we can cross "acting" off his list of potential careers.

Stairs, stairs, and more stairs. On the eighth floor, they pause to take a breather, although that's probably a misnomer given that the first thing Don does is light a cigarette. Roger is clearly already having the worse of the situation, and complains about the elevator problem. It does seem odd -- even if that elevator only serves one set of floors, it's...one elevator. Surely the building needs a spare. They head up one more landing, and then Roger suggests they check on the elevator, but Don thinks they would hear it from where they are. Don, clearly (to us) enjoying himself, suggests they invite the Nixon people down to the landing to have the presentation, and then spurs a reluctant Roger to keep going. On seventeen, Don remarks that there are six to go, and then asks Roger if he wants to rest, but Roger declines. Don certainly is relentless in using Roger's machismo against him, as he smiles to himself and prods, "I forgot. Navy man." It's nice to see Don having a good time, even if it does reveal him to be a sadist. On eighteen, they pass a man and woman making out, and despite Don tipping his hat to them, they get metaphorically hosed down in a hurry, and leave. Noting that Roger is continuing to flag, Don offers to run ahead, but Roger tells him his name is on the building (...we know), and they can wait for him. I've never heard someone pant quite that grandly before. Roger then realizes, "I've got to stop talking." Yes, that would probably have avoided this whole mess. Meanwhile, not a hair on Don's head is out of place, and I really want to know what was in that Brylcreem they used back in the day. On twenty, Roger falls to his knees for a moment, but tries to cover by saying he lost his tie clip, and orders Don to go on without him. Don gives him a fake-concerned face, and heads on up. Roger then calls, "Found it!" and continues his forced march. I really did think Roger was going to have some kind of coronary episode here, so I appreciate the twist, foul-smelling as it may be.

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Mad Men

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