We open on the set of a television commercial, and from the lighting and the position of the boom pole we see that the star is a guy in a white tuxedo (we'll soon learn his name is "Jimmy Barrett"). Freddy Rumson is in attendance but seems only half-conscious, and it's probably due to the fifth of something he's downed already but I still can't say I blame him. Jimmy complains about some chips on the bar on which he's leaning, and then the director calls for take six of "Utz Are Better Than Nuts." Jimmy talks about how his evening at a nice bar was almost ruined by the bartender giving him a bowl of nuts, but luckily, he had a bag of Utz potato chips with him. He concludes by sticking his face into the bag like a horse and popping back up with his mouth full of chips and announcing, "Take it from a nut. Utz are better than nuts!" So, Jimmy, you're saying that these salty, greasy, disgusting chips are better than you. Not that I disagree -- just wanted to be clear. He then barks some instructions about the camera setup that should be left to the director and D.P., but which are meant to show that he thinks he's running the show. Just then, Ken awakens Freddy and indicates an older couple who have just shown up and are smiling somewhat excitedly in Jimmy's direction. Their smiles fade quickly, however, when Jimmy starts ruthlessly making fun of the woman's weight, likening her to the Hindenburg. Nasty, yes, but given that the couple (the "Schillings") are the owners of Utz, it's at least an appropriate reference on the disaster scale. He continues in this vein for a while, to muted chuckles from some of the on-set people, until Freddy suggests they take a break. Jimmy ignores him, though, so Ken is forced to escort the Schillings off set. Possibly getting an idea of what he just did, Jimmy calls after Freddy, "Just for your information, this guy's laughin' over here!" He's not pointing in my direction.

At the stables, Betty and her friend ("Sara Beth") dismount after their lesson. After Betty mentions that she has to pick up Don's watch, which needed repairs after he bathed the kids with it on, Sara Beth tells her she and her husband are coming up on their tenth anniversary, and complains a bit about the romance being gone from her marriage. They then spy the guy from the season premiere ("Arthur"), and Sara Beth sighs that he reminds her of Montgomery Clift in A Place In The Sun: "Learning how to ride so he can worm his way into the upper crust." Betty, familiar with the reference, intones, "Somewhere there's a pregnant girl floating in a lake." Heh. For someone not known for her sense of humor, that one was pretty good. Sara Beth, however, counters, "I'm from the South. There are such people." Honey, don't one-up your friend just as she was taking a tiny step toward lightening up. A buttoned-up young lady dismounts and tells the instructor that she thinks the guy needs a different horse, but she isn't hearing that: "He's on the worst one we have." I didn't catch this in the season premiere, but the instructor is played by Denise Crosby, best known to Star Trek: TNG viewers as Lieutenant Tasha Yar. The girl changes her tune and says that she knew teaching him to ride wouldn't be easy -- otherwise she would have done it herself. In that case, I hope he's either good in bed or she's willing to put in a little more effort in that department. They start to walk in Betty and Sara Beth's direction, and Betty starts to head off to get her purse, but Sara Beth grabs her and breathes that they have to meet the girl. She and Arthur stride up, and he introduces her as "Tara Montague," his fiancée. Sara Beth and Betty in turn introduce themselves, and he speculates that they make fun of him for his riding. Betty demurs: "That would be cruel." Back to literal normalcy. After some words from Tara that make it seem like these two aren't exactly the romantic match of the century, they walk off, and Sara Beth sighs that Tara is prettier than she expected, and goes on that she's been spending too much time at the stables -- she's even started dreaming about Arthur. "Or a version of him that could ride." Heh. Betty laughs and starts to take her leave, saying she'll see Sara Beth on Saturday, but Sara Beth tells her that's not the case, as he daughter has a dance recital. "It's so horrible to put girls that fat in a leotard." I'd spend more time being speechless if I weren't on deadline.

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