Mad Men
Waldorf Stories

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B- | 3 USERS: A-
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…And The Clio Goes To…

Back in the SCDP conference room, Harry is regaling the conference room with booze and spoilers about Peyton Place, and it is hilarious when one of the Life execs and Pryce clutch their pearls at an upcoming development, but just then the Clio contingent returns, and Don's BAC has clearly continued to rise even though he's taken a short break from boozing. Actually, I shouldn't assume that part; I wouldn't put it past him to have scored a to-go cup off a Waldorf bartender.

Before he leaves the group alone, Roger leads some of the group in a victory lap around the table with the Clio in hand, to Pete's unflagging consternation, and then everyone has a seat as Don drunkenly asks Joey if he started without him, and Joey, hilariously terrified, is like, "No, Don. I would not do that." Don then cuts Joey out entirely as he starts his pitch (BOO!), and he's on the verge of slurring the whole time, but despite some allusions to nostalgia that are reminiscent of his presentation in "The Wheel," only far more mangled, he does hold it together long enough to get to the concept, which is designed to make the idea of eating Life fun: A picture of a kid eating an oversize bowl of the stuff, with the tagline "Eat Life By The Bowlful." He explains the appeal of the ads to both kids and moms, and it's actually quite logical, but after Harry suggests they could design an entire TV show around the Quaker Oats family, one of the Life execs says he likes the pitch, but he's concerned the irony might be "a little smart for regular folks."

Don and the guy, who seems well on his way to a Lost Weekend of his own, debate the issue a little, and then Pete suggests they "let Don work that over," and that just made the image of Don punching the posterboard while shining a bright light on it pop into my head, so thanks, Pete. Don, however, tells Pete he's got it, and Pete seriously looks like he'd rather eat an oversize bowl of manure than let Don continue, but he can't really stop him now, which is a shame, because Don, whose hair is tellingly getting out of control, rather excruciatingly starts pitching ideas that would get laughed out of even the mailroom.

Actually, only some of them are completely without merit, but that's beside the point, as one of them is plagiarized -- "Life: The Cure For The Common Breakfast." Unfortunately, that's the one the execs seize on, and Don's apparently so drunk at this point that he doesn't realize there's anything wrong, which means Peggy is the only one who can smell the giant turd in the room. No wonder no one thinks she's any fun.

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