Make Me A Supermodel
Attitude on the Runway

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Waxing Romantic

Upstairs, almost everyone loves their new looks, especially Jacki, who has had her rat-ass extensions removed and, looks like, new ones put in. "This should have been the first thing on the bonfire," Cory smarms, throwing a pile of fake hair on the floor. Meanwhile, Holly is having to come to terms with her new pixie. It is, truth be told, stunning. Her eyes look even bigger, and she is just beautiful. Niki is thrilled, but Holly doesn't seem to believe all the compliments she's getting. With red-rimmed eyes, she says she just doesn't feel as sexy as she did before.

"Amazing transformations," Tyson tells them, "but it's not over yet. I've got a surprise for you at the house." And what a surprise it is -- the guys are getting waxed. Professional spa ladies are there with robes and slippers and...vats of hot wax which cause the boys to preemptively shudder. "Which one of you guys are gonna be the first to confess," the spa lady asks, "that you need your butts waxed?" Sheepishly, Ben, Ronnie and Casey raise their hands. Ben and Ronnie are the first to go. Adorable. Please tell me this is the first time they've seen each other's butts. Of course, they scream and laugh through the pain. FRANKIE (who also has a freakishly long torso) howls as his face goes beet red, especially when they WAX HIS NIPPLES ON TELEVISION. You know...what is the world coming to? When their turns come, Perry and Casey clasp white-knuckled hands in agony. So cute. "I'm a beaten man," Perry tells the camera with tears in his eyes. "It was like getting lashings." Man, I feel you. "Was it nice and relaxing?" Ben jokes, and walks away, giving Perry a slap on the back, causing him yet a new layer of pain. Poor boys. Welcome to womanhood.

The next morning, the models arrive at a courthouse in New York, where they meet their photographer for the day, Sarah Silver. Apparently, Silver's specialty is shooting photographs that incorporate movement, as evidenced by her current position, hanging in a harness from the ceiling. "She was glidin'," Jay interviews. "Like Spider-Man!" Silver explains to the models that everything they can do on the ground, they can do hanging. "Moving, moving, moving," she says. "What are you wearing? What's your hair look like?" That was one sentence -- no, I'm serious, the way this is edited was enough to make me scream. She glides down to comment on their new haircuts and how it all translates into having new attitudes and how from the neck up, they have attitude, and the neck down, they're...moving. I know you're reading it and thinking I must be leaving some key words out of the paragraphs here, but actually, this is what is being said. Blessedly, the models go back to get ready in hair and makeup. Shannon, who we have barely seen this episode, is excited, speaking confidently of the new challenge. Shannon is awesome. So awesome, we will not see her again for the rest of the hour. To the side, Jacki says she doesn't want to end up in the bottom four again, and now that she's seen her outfit for the day, she feels good about the challenge. I just do not LIKE her, okay? She seems beguiled by her own charms -- like she's buying her own hype.

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Make Me A Supermodel

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