FRANKIE IS SENT HOME? America, what wrong with you? He cut his hair for THIS? He swears to not let it stop him in his search for his dreams. Back at the house, Holly puts Perry on the hot seat, saying that his little Dude Club is not as close as they appear. Perry is offended, and especially hurt when Ben and Casey come home without frankie. Shannon says she's glad to be free of frankie's annoying laugh, but Ben, despite the fact that his ass was just saved, is bothered that his remaining housemates did not set off fireworks for his return. The models are charged with the extremely difficult task of celebrating Niki's birthday. The guys write her a song and the girls bake her a cake and spend their time at the party being irritating bad-mouthing each other. The rest of the week is all about branding, and instead of a photo shoot, they'll be modeling in a "video look book." The director casts them in and out of the video, based on their ability to emote in certain scenes. Casey is determined to do his best, but he still doesn't shine and is not included in many video segments. By the way, for all us pervs that have been waiting for it -- finally Ben and Ronnie are thrown together for a tease-y make-out scene. It is, I must admit, pretty hot. But it is not nearly as hot as when he really has to make out with Holly. They do quite well. The next morning, Jennifer arrives at the house to wake up all the kids and tell them they have a booking! They'll be working as "brand ambassadors" at Bloomingdale's, walking the floors, selling to the customers. Ben fails to impress. He's uncomfortable like, speaking to people -- he says he doesn't want to be a salesman -- and is dismissed from the exercise. Consequently, he acts like a big, big jerk. The rest of the models are big hits, especially Casey and Shannon. The catwalk this week includes two walks. The models wear vintage looks, and they all look gorgeous. During the Q & A, Casey is once again accused of "thinking." Holly is complimented for her overall perfection, though Cory still wonders if she has the "presence" to succeed. Tyson has to hold himself back from karate chopping Ben, who defensively maintains that he does not have a bad attitude. Ben must want to go home at this point, because he cannot shut up. The girls are praised as having done the best this week, and Holly is the week's winner. That leaves all these bitch-ass boys on the catwalk to face the music. There are only four left, and since Perry is deemed safe, that leaves Ronnie, Ben and Casey up for the vote. Ah, but we're not done yet! In a surprise twist, we actually go home with the models after the judging, where Perry is told to call his girlfriend. She drops the bomb on him that a "huge story" about her has "blown up" in the "media." I have to put it all in quotes because...who is this girl? Hilariously, the story is that she has been cheating on him with Britney Spears' paparazzi boyfriend, Adnan Whatshisname? But she doesn't even tell him that, opting instead for some confusing CIA doubletalk. "What the fuck was that?" he says, hanging up, and I can't help but agree.
So, we start the week as usual by preparing for elimination. Somehow, Ben thinks there's no way he can go home. As a matter of fact, he's pissed that he's in the B3 instead of Shannon, whom he ludicrously believes himself superior to. "I just want her gone, dude," he whines to Ronnie, and I narrow my eyes in the anticipation of his ouster. Surely, I say to myself, no one would send home sweet Casey or hot frankie and leave us with this butthole who briefly lured us successfully with his faux-country charm. And yet, as usual, I am wrong. What's up, America? It was frankie's haircut, wasn't it? It sapped his power, Samson-style! He gets yanked, and I am UPSET. Ben's face as they prepare to receive the news gives me the impression that he has something up his sleeve prepared in response for when he receives his inevitable shove out the door. But we're not to find out this week -- frankie takes the news with grace and thanks the judges for the opportunity. "It's really meant a lot to me," he says, tearless, and strides hotly off the runway and out of my heart. I mean, yes, his personality grated, and he possibly is not smarter than a fifth grader, but...our love was real. As long as he wasn't talking. I had high hopes at the very beginning of the season, when I incorrectly thought they'd be teaching the contestants how to become successful models (rather than making them engage in dumb contests and games), because I feel like if someone really, really worked with frankie until he "got it," he'd be great at this job.
Back at the house, the remaining models have their little talk about who they'd like to see return. "I'd be happy if either one of them went home -- Casey or Frankie," Holly says. Perry grins, glad his little zoo crew has gotten under her skin. He says some bullshit about how the two of them are his boys and have each other's backs. "I don't think that, though," Holly says. "You guys talk about each other all the time." Perry uncomfortably denies that his "boys" badmouth each other. "You hear a lot of things that aren't even true," he says. "Or you just make stuff up." Sure. Holly says in an interview that the guys talk big about how they're friends, "but in the end, they'd step over each other's dead bodies." She is no doubt correct.
Casey comes in first -- he's wearing a crazy Sgt. Pepper/organ grinder's monkey coat by the way -- to half-hearted cheers. Ben receives an even more lukewarm reception. Well, it seems as though Ronnie is excited, but I assure you the bromance is dead. I can feel it.