Shannon interviews that she's glad frankie's gone so she won't have to hear his laugh anymore: "It sounded like a cross between Fran Drescher, a dolphin and a blender." Oh, come on, now. To insult a blender like that...a faithful provider of margaritas. It's unnecessary. I'm disappointed, really, that Shannon would smack-talk on camera. I was thinking she was tactically avoiding that, but I guess frankie broke her. Upstairs, Ronnie and Ben continue to ponder the great mystery of Shannon. "I have no clue who Shannon is," Ronnie says, and Ben concurs. Who cares if you know who she is? You were just saying this morning how much you wanted to get rid of her. Why do we even have to know who she is? Believe me, the "supermodel" personalities we've seen in the last twenty years -- excluding Heidi Klum, of course, who is delightful -- are not personalities I want to know. Hello, I'm fine not knowing more about Naomi Campbell, and I am sure various assistants and maids have had that same thought as they dodged flying Nokias. In the girls' room, Shannon has decided that the final three models in the competition will be herself, Holly and "somebody else." I hope she's right.
Suddenly they are surprised by the arrival of Tyson, who has come to tell them they'll be throwing a party for Niki's birthday. Lots of important GQ people and other industry folks will be there, and Tyson implores them to "dress for success." The boys decide they'll write Niki a song for her birthday, which is so very cheesy, but kind of charming. Well, it would be if it weren't these jags. I cannot believe Ben is going along with this, but he appears to be into it.
Downstairs, Holly and Shannon are making a red velvet cake when Perry jokingly screeches down from above for them to be quiet. Shannon is so over him. She takes up an immediate counterwail of "pleeeease be quiiiiiet" to drown him out, and she wins. In an interview, she says that she's disappointed she's had to be in this contest with a number of jerks. "That's unfortunate," she says. The thing is, they wouldn't be so jerky, probably, if they'd just remember that they are on television. Am I fooling myself with that? I just think if they thought about it for one second, most of them would be too ashamed to be so dumb on film.
At the party site, the kids are happy to see and socialize with a bunch of the photographers they've worked with already, and the champagne gets to flowin'. Tyson leads a blindfolded Niki into the party. Her hands seem to be shaking as she takes it off, but she's very happy to hear everyone yell "Surprise!" The girls' cake looks pretty tasty and cute, and they have even included a little motorcycle on top, which is a nice touch -- apparently she and her husband, a NASCAR driver, are all about them. Shenanigans ensue, but all is soon eclipsed by the performance of the guys' boy band, "Serenade." All due props must be given, here, because that name is hilarious. The song is embarrassing and terrible, but they go for it. "You put all of our asses in the bottom three/but we're still standin', fine as can be!" Niki loves it, as does the crowd, but Shannon says in an interview that she is sure Niki liked the cake better. Shannon is really irritable tonight, y'all, and it may be because she has not eaten any food in a long time. Her shoulders look like they could slice cheese. We see the GQ style editor giving Holly and Shannon tips on how they need to "work the room" and how in the business "it's who you know." Shannon decides this is the week she's going to act like she knows everything, and where I would just have said "oh, you're so right," and walked away to mingle, she retorts that she feels like there's a way to work the room that is more subtle and causes partygoers to gravitate toward her. Look, maybe she's right, but the problem she and all these kids are having week after week is that they forget they're twenty-two and stupid and have never worked as models, so the thing to do is shut up. It's so easy, and yet, no one can do it. She says that the boys are so loud and boisterous, but that there's something to be said for subtlety. I'm about to reiterate the shut up rule when the magazine dude goes over to Perry to share a drunken conversation about how models, if they're girls in this town, have gotta loosen up if they want to make an impression. Nice. In an interview, he explains his position. He thinks Holly and Shannon are really interesting and all, but he wants them to have a little more flavor. "I don't want to admire you," he says, so cleverly. "I wanna, you know, sleep with you." Sigh. Gee, thank you for spelling it out, because I just wasn't getting what you meant when you waggled your eyebrows and said they needed to loosen up. "You gotta have some attitude, man," he continues. "Maybe one or two of them have it." I do not love this ho.