Make Me A Supermodel
Let The Games Begin

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Jeff Long: A | Grade It Now!
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Close To Amish

Tyson asks the girls if they're ready to meet their mentor. They're all like, "What does a small candy that can make a two-liter of soda turn into a rocket have to do with anything?" Men-TOR. Oh. I kid. Tyson says that the girls' mentor has been on the cover of Vogue and modeled for luminaries such as Versace and Dior. He points to the red box above the pavement and says that she's there. The sides of the box drop to reveal Nicole Trunfio in a Plexiglas box. She looks good. Everyone oohs and ahs at the spectacle. Gabriel, a Ron Reagan Jr. look-alike, says that Nicole is sexy and the girls could learn something from her. What's with all of the bagging on the girls? They're pretty.

The box is lowered and Nicole makes her way up to the group and she's carrying a small box of her own. There's a tiny mentor in there for some tiny models. "Do I know how to make an entrance or what?" They give the only answer suitable -- applause.

Tyson says that, for their first shoot, they've gone to the edgiest person around. He has worked with Coldplay and Jay-Z. It's Perou. Convenient. Did you know that he's a judge too? He comes out with so much jewelry on his hand that he looks like he's part machine. Karen who is 21 and from Ocean Springs, Mississippi (near my hometown!) thinks Perou is scary. He's wearing a jumpsuit that looks like a prison uniform. He says that they should remember that they are always in the public eye, whether they are working or not. This guy almost seems like a new character of Sacha Baron Cohen's. In order to get them ready for living in the public eye, their first photo assignment will take place in that Plexiglas box where Nicole made her entrance. The goal? "Capturing an intimate moment in public." I'm not sure a good sense of humor is helpful in your quest to be a supermodel, but there are a lot of possibilities buried in the vagueness of that assignment. Yes, I'm thinking of potty humor.

Perou says that he'll need the models to perform for him and his camera in front of all of New York City. They'll be working in pairs. He gives a sinister "ha ha ha," then leaves to finish setting up lights. Tyson is going to draw headshots out of the box that Nicole is holding. The person drawn will choose a partner for the assignment. Branden interviews that "there are so many girls who look so good." He can't wait to choose a partner. That dude is very 18.

Amanda is the first name chosen. She asks the group if anyone wants to work with her. Even potential future supermodels can feel insecure, ya'll. She interviews that she doesn't want to choose a guy for fear that he might think that she "likes" him. Oh Lord. So she chooses Kerryn who can't believe that she has been chosen first and, ridiculous spelling of name notwithstanding, seems like a nice girl. Salome, who is gorgeous, is chosen next and picks "this one" beside her. It's Ron Reagan Jr. I'm 70 that I'm making jokes about Ron Reagan Jr. His name is Gabe. Mountaha is chosen next. We cut to Sandhurst, who interviews that he wants to work with Mountaha because of her nice energy. Well, what do you know, she chooses Sandhurst. He interviews that they must have been sending magic waves to each other. Laury is next and she tells Jonathan that he's stuck with her. Karen is chosen next and she chooses "short hair and jacket." It's Shawn and he's standing very close to her. The pointing would have been enough. Jordan is chosen next and she chooses CJ. Her rationale? There are only guys left and she wants them all to have to create intimate moments together, because she imagines that it'll be uncomfortable for them. I like Jordan. Ken's photo is picked next and he chooses the virgin. That leaves Chris with Branden, who is seriously going to cry. Tyson actually says, "Sorry, Branden." He interviews that, working with Chris, he's a little "worried about the gay problem." You see, Chris is gay and Branden is not. In fact he's "especially not gay." He's not Canadian and he's not gay, but he's especially not gay.

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Make Me A Supermodel

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