Make Me A Supermodel

Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: B+ | Grade It Now!
They Know Candy Like They Know Calculus

Nicole tells all of the models that she has something special in store for them. They're gonna die. It's Tabatha, celebrity stylist and Bravo staple. Everyone's excited to see her. Jordan interviews that Tabatha is unbelievable. Nicole says that Tabatha is going to consult with each of the models before they get their hair did at Cutler Salon. That's where I got my hair cut pre-economic downturn! Tabatha notices that Jonathan has fried his hair with relaxer -- she thinks they should cut. Salome should go darker. Chris needs to cut his hair. She suggests that Karen cut her hair, which seems to freak her out. CJ is a total baby and acts like she's having her poodle skirt ruffled up by the greasers. Tabatha tells her to go short and brown. Awesome. She hates it. Mountaha giggles, 'cause she knows when she sees a girl who is super-attached to being a blonde. Tabatha also says that she's going to cut CJ's hair herself. CJ interviews that this is "bullshit." Ha! I think I'm starting to hate her a little.

After Jordan and Mountaha go see, Amanda tries to convince CJ that brown hair isn't akin to tattooing your fucking face. She's not having it. She interviews that people pay thousands to have the appearance of naturally blonde hair, so why would they take the one girl who has it and make her a brunette? Not a horrible point, but I think it has more to do with your face than the relative value of your actual hair. Right? You don't get modeling gigs for flaunting your recessive gene. She also says that brown hair is not very exciting. Well, fuck you, Blondie. Amanda tells her that she looks like a porn star, what with her big boobs and blonde hair. Tabatha is trying to make her into a model. True dat. Amanda interviews that all of this drama is not going to bode well for CJ. When you're not interrupting the revelation of childhood traumas, Amanda, you can be quite wise.

At the go-see, Mountaha walks first. They like her, though the casting director thinks she's a little edgier than the typical Miss Sixty model. Jordan walks, and I believe we've found her Achilles' heal. This guy tells the other casting person that she's "wide, like, side to side." Also, that jeans don't fit her. Not "the jeans," but "jeans." Ouch. The lady says that she wouldn't book Jordan because they look for models who are more confident and sexier. Another ouch. The girls don't seem too disappointed on their way home.

The crew goes to Cutler, and Rodney Cutler tells them that they have to "surrender." They decide to go with a '70s rocker look for Chris. Jordan and Mountaha arrive and Mountaha is told that she is going to be platinum like Tabatha. Jordan remarks to Colin that neither of them are getting big changes and he jokes that "it's hard to improve on perfection." Karen's short hair looks amazing. She says that it will take some getting used to. Chris also looks great. Rodney tells him that he takes him more seriously now. Chris says that he hopes that the cut will bring him some of the edge that the judges asked for. I don't see it. Now, he's just a prettier Taryn Manning. Amanda gets Heidi Klum bangs, which make her so much cooler. Mountaha looks very striking with her new color job.

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Make Me A Supermodel




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