Make Me A Supermodel
Episode Report CardAl Lowe: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Siiiiiiigh. Shannon is sent home. Disappointed! Meanwhile, back at the house, the boys prove what true children they are by engaging in mean little tactics against Holly. Somehow, after a zillion weeks of hating Perry, all of a sudden, Ronnie and Ben love him? BUT WHATEVER, because flipping NAOMI CAMPBELL shows up. The four remaining models are struck dumb. She visits with them briefly before they are taken to their final photo shoot, the theme for which is "the natural elements." It's a nude shoot, with Matthew Rolston, and to my great delight, they put Perry in the tranniest wig possible, and make him... tuck his junk. Rolston is complimentary of each of them. The catwalk this week involves three looks, and their catwalk coach is none other than Christian Siriano, fierce winner of Project Runway. He's even made a dress for Holly -- which is so sweet -- but he works with each model on each look, providing them with perhaps the most reasoned, understandable advice they've received thus far in the contest. The first look the models must show is underwear, and they all look good. The second is fun, colorful clothes and in the last catwalk, the boys rock black suits and Holly kills in a gorgeous gold dress. Matthew Rolston joins the panel for Q&A and points out that both Ronnie and Holly need to get back in the gym. Compliments flow all around for each model, but when they are dismissed, the judges get down to the nitty gritty. Each of them has pros and cons for each model, and when they bring the contestants back out, we learn that the voting this week will be between all four of them. Next week: the reunion!
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I seeeeeriously hate to tell you this, America, but it seems you accidentally voted Shannon off this program. Right. You realize, don't you, that you've left Holly alone in the house with a narcissist, and egomaniac, and a passive-aggressive kissass? Take your pick on who you'd like to assign those titles to -- they apply universally to the three remaining boys. After Ronnie explains to the camera that to believe he'll be sent home would be a slap in the face to America, Holly discovers that the guys have turned her photograph to the wall. Never again do I want to hear a man make a comment about how petty women are. I mean, honest to God, that is straight-up PMS sorority house pediatric mental illness. Shannon hugs Holly and says her goodbyes, at which point the boys all make fun of them both. I can't even recap this stuff, because it makes me want to commit manslaughter. Ben should get slapped so hard upside his jug head his Gollum eyes roll out on the floor. I'm sick to death of his faux-deep voice and his desperate, desperate attempts to align himself with whoever he believes to be the cool kids of the moment. Is anything less attractive than a hanger-on? At least Perry has leadership skills. At the elimination, Shannon takes it on the chin. She doesn't cry, and when Tyson tells them to say their goodbyes, instead of automatically hugging Ronnie, she instead shakes his hand. Awesome -- I mean, he's shown himself to be a dick in sweet gay boy's clothing, and in no way should she have to pretend they are parting as friends. Backstage, she says she's not happy, but she will have to deal with it. She sounds defeated when she says she knows she's still going to be a model, but that she guesses this isn't how she's going to get it done. Girl, take your amazing portfolio and go and conquer the world. Back at the house, Perry and Ben are so full of themselves it's disgusting. I can't stand to see someone being purposefully unkind, and they are so aggressively smug to Holly it turns my stomach. What's obvious is, despite hearing over and over from the judges that Holly may not be tough enough for this business, it's clear that she's tougher than anyone in the contest. She may get emotional, but she isn't afraid to come back at Perry's little attempt at one-up by saying she thinks Shannon deserves to come back, but that Ronnie probably will, instead. "I think Ronnie's fake," she says, raising her eyebrow of disdain. "Ugh. Spare me, I can't even talk about it. She is a better model than he is." Ben says he disagrees with that, completely, to no one's surprise at all. Dude, your boyfriend's coming back, okay? Just shut up. Holly tries to get in a dig about how Ben and Ronnie seem to have fallen under Perry's Machiavellian spell, but of course Perry and Ben deny this. These boys are such idiots, I'm sorry. Perry is by far the most clever of them all, and how he manages to turn his opponents into sycophants is pretty amazing.
Make Me A Supermodel