Jay's next, unfortunately attired in a purple visor that makes him look nothing short of Taco Bell night manager. Jay says that all he wants to do in the world is tell his mama she doesn't have to work anymore, "'cause she been workin' all her life." I love Jay, man. And Jay loves Tyson -- apparently enough to put posters of him up on his walls growing up. Lee says that Jay is not the most natural of models, and so he found him to be one of the hardest to work with.
Finally, it's over. Tyson is amazed at how well the contestants did. Lee says that the one who stood out the most was Stephanie (yawn), and that the ones who really did not do much for him were Katy (uh!), and FRANKIE (what?!) "But, who knows?" he adds. "It's their first shoot."
And now, the big reveal: the house! The models are taken, by limo, to their new digs. No claustrophobic model apartment with five girls sleeping on futons -- no. Rather, they'll be living in a $20 million town home, fully decked out from top to bottom. Of course, they all run around wildly. "When I walked in here," says Perry, "I thought: 'this is how I want to live.'" An amazing revelation, to be sure, since most of us would prefer to live in squalor. "I wanted to piss my pants," says Robbie, amazed at the place. He says that he and Ben had already made plans to run in and find their beds...together...in the same room. BEN, PLEASE DO NOT SLEEP WITH THE PRETTY, PRETTY GAY MAN. Oh, Ben. You're never going back to Nashville, are you? Ben says that he's not used to living like this -- he's accustomed to being at home, in one bed, with his wife, not in a twin bed with another guy in the room. When Ronnie breaks his heart, dumping him to go back with the porn star, I hope Ben is okay and can find consolation back at the prison.
The house has a weight room and everything and a big kitchen and they all gather around and raise their orange juice colonics to Casey, who says he's happy to be there, even though he'll be sad when everyone but him gets sent home.
Speaking of ridiculous: Tyson wakes them up the next morning at 7 AM for a go-see, and here is where this show, which I had been enjoying for its (slightly boring) relative normalcy, goes right off the rails. Instead of a go-see, Tyson takes them first to some kind of industrial, waterside area. It's under and between two bridges -- I'm sorry, I don't know New York very well -- and looks exactly like a place homeless people go to die. This is especially highlighted by the burning trash barrel Tyson is standing next to. He explains that, because they are all starting a new phase in their lives as models, this is their chance to shed their pasts to be ready to take on new personas. He pretty much wants them to burn their clothes. "I want you to take something off and throw it in the fire," he says. Oh, no. No, no. We don't burn clothes, Bravo. We don't take the clothes off people's backs in freezing weather, in a city full of people who don't have enough clothes, on a program that is all about wearing clothing, and burn them in a trash can. You can talk about being released from your past all you want, but try watching your house burn and see how free you feel. In the immortal words of some hair band I can't think of right now, "you don't know what you got, 'til it's gaaawww-aw-awwwn." The only one talking any sense is Stephanie, who says she gets the thing about letting go of your material possessions, but that she's wearing a bunch of stuff that belongs to her mother, and she's not doing it. The boys, however, get serious and competitive about it, especially since Tyson is goading them on, saying that whoever wants it most will burn the most stuff. Casey acts downright smug about burning his entire ensemble, which is cute, and I can see the pain in Holly's eyes as she prepares to burn the awesome red shirt that she probably made or bought in a thrift store. I'd also like to point out that Ben is wearing long johns, which is the cutest.