Make Me A Supermodel
The Supermodels Move In

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Too Sexy For This Thong

The house has a weight room and everything and a big kitchen and they all gather around and raise their orange juice colonics to Casey, who says he's happy to be there, even though he'll be sad when everyone but him gets sent home.

Speaking of ridiculous: Tyson wakes them up the next morning at 7 AM for a go-see, and here is where this show, which I had been enjoying for its (slightly boring) relative normalcy, goes right off the rails. Instead of a go-see, Tyson takes them first to some kind of industrial, waterside area. It's under and between two bridges -- I'm sorry, I don't know New York very well -- and looks exactly like a place homeless people go to die. This is especially highlighted by the burning trash barrel Tyson is standing next to. He explains that, because they are all starting a new phase in their lives as models, this is their chance to shed their pasts to be ready to take on new personas. He pretty much wants them to burn their clothes. "I want you to take something off and throw it in the fire," he says. Oh, no. No, no. We don't burn clothes, Bravo. We don't take the clothes off people's backs in freezing weather, in a city full of people who don't have enough clothes, on a program that is all about wearing clothing, and burn them in a trash can. You can talk about being released from your past all you want, but try watching your house burn and see how free you feel. In the immortal words of some hair band I can't think of right now, "you don't know what you got, 'til it's gaaawww-aw-awwwn." The only one talking any sense is Stephanie, who says she gets the thing about letting go of your material possessions, but that she's wearing a bunch of stuff that belongs to her mother, and she's not doing it. The boys, however, get serious and competitive about it, especially since Tyson is goading them on, saying that whoever wants it most will burn the most stuff. Casey acts downright smug about burning his entire ensemble, which is cute, and I can see the pain in Holly's eyes as she prepares to burn the awesome red shirt that she probably made or bought in a thrift store. I'd also like to point out that Ben is wearing long johns, which is the cutest.

Wow, I really hated this little section. Really hated it. Ronnie almost cries as he takes off his suit and throws it in the fire. "I'm not looking for Wall Street guys on this show," says Tyson, proceeding to cheer Casey as he strips all the way to his underwear. Ben and Ronnie follow. Ben even burns the long johns! Tyson says that he'll have a conversation with Niki later to tell her which ones of them wanted it more. Shut up, Tyson. I love how some of them are still standing there fully clothed, looking like, "Uh, my Mama bought me this, and I ain't burning it." Smart children. "The smell in the air right now," says Ronnie, shirtless in the freezing weather, "is the smell of an amazing suit I wore here today." He laughs painfully as he says it's now no more than a memory.

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Make Me A Supermodel

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