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Make Me A Supermodel

Episode Report Card

Al Lowe: B | 344 USERS: C+

YOU GRADE IT

Skintegrity

By Al Lowe | Season 1 | Episode 3 | Aired on 2008.01.24

In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

We begin this week with the good news that America has had it up to here with Dominic, and he's going home. Thank goodness. Katy and Ben are saved, meaning that the Great And Epic Romance Of Ben And Ronnie can continue.

Unfortunately, the Great And Epic Romance Of Ben And Ronnie becomes slightly less fun to watch when Ronnie admits to us that he has begun to have real feelings about Ben. Who is straight. And married. And even if either of those things isn't as permanently true as Ben makes it out to be (as some of the "playful" "unserious" rolling around on the bed together, some of which includes Aryn also, begins to suggest), Ronnie still doesn't want any part of that drama. Run, Ronnie!

This week's photo shoot revolves around "chemistry," and the models are paired off to pose for erotic pictures. Like, they're not porn, because clothes are on, but they're not just cologne ads, either. There's a lot of biting and licking and leather and so forth. For my money, the most interesting pairing is Casey and Perry, who handle their ho-ho-ho make-boys-kiss situation with admirable aplomb, admitting that they're kind of freaked out (best line: "Sooooo...did you see the game last night?") but then totally committing and getting into it, with tongues and whips and not a trace of "yuck, I don't want to be here." It increases my affection for both of them. Ben and Katy both outperform their recent bad outings, so they're both in a better groove, it seems. Stephanie and Jacki also do well, with Stephanie identifying toplessness as her element of surprise. Jay and Aryn are a big flop, with Jay barely participating in the shoot, and with both of them acting like this is an incredibly dull assignment, weirdly. Ronnie and Shannon have a good week, and Ronnie totally admits that he was hot for Shannon a little bit while they were making out and rolling around and whatnot. Frankie and Holly are still fighting, and they're horrible, and it starts to make you realize what people are talking about when they say "chemistry."

The catwalk is based around equestrian and bondage themes, and once again, the photo partners appear together. It doesn't really change anything -- the ones who were awesome are still awesome, particularly Casey and Perry, and the ones who are were terrible are still terrible. The bottom three are Aryn, Jay, and Holly, all of whom got distracted and freaked in various ways about the assignment, and all of whom deserve to be there.

Want more? The full recap starts right below!

Last week, everybody hated Dominic. They also had diminished love for Katy and Ben, and the three of them went up for the vote to be eliminated from the running to be America's Most Dumbest Next Mid-Level Famous Person Who Is Frequently Photographed In Clothes While Walking Around In Front Of People. So, we start this week's episode off listening to Dominic whine about himself and everybody else. "Dom was pissed," says Katy, "and he took his bad mood out on everybody in the house." He's in such a bad mood, in fact, that he has to confront everyone in his bathrobe. This man's ankles are dainty enough for me to encircle with one hand, and he has the unmitigated gall to speak of himself now in the third person. "A lot of the models in this house," he says, with total sincerity, "they don't like Dominic, and they're entitled to their own opinion, or whatever." Katy, Casey, and Holly stare blandly at him, and he's doing plenty to dig his own grave of stupidity when FRANKIE decides to chime in. "What I feel," he says, laboring under the misconception that anyone cares about his feelings (or even believes he has them), "is that a lot of the girls in this house are backstabbers. Some of you guys talk shit about each other, and then you guys are friendly to each other." Fascinating! Finally, someone has cracked the CODE of feminine mystique! He is like an anthropologist uncovering inscrutable womanhood! What will FRANKIE reveal next? Finally, someone has discovered the key to unlock... oh, never mind, Dominic's interrupting. All he's saying, he said, is that when he got out of the shower, someone told him that someone else downstairs was talking trash about him. Katy doesn't even blink -- the whole house is open, she points out, and no one is trying to talk behind his back. "If someone is trying to question my integrity," Dom goes on, "please confront me." Katy attempts to argue that no one is questioning his integrity, but since none of them knows what integrity means, especially Dominic, the camera just cuts away, probably amid the sniggers of the crew. If anyone were ever going to make up a book of clichés on how even shows that are allegedly displaying raw, "real" footage become formulaic, at least one chapter could be dedicated to the moment in every show that someone starts going on about his integrity. Even the Rock Of Love "women" do it, and to them, Integrity is just the blonde in the two-girl act with Destiny on Tuesdays down at the Booby Trap.