Make Me A Supermodel

Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: B+ | 467 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Dying To Be Thin

The girls come out and there's a group shot with everyone. Then, just Jordan. She's thrilled because she says she's best when she's alone, she's always been a loner. Keep up that attitude, Jordan, and I think you won't have any problem staying alone. Salome honestly says that Jordan is very good in front of the camera and she is jealous. Branden worries that he's going to be the guy without any photos and Sandhurst tells him to just get through the day. Maybe Sandhurst is tired of giving advice to Branden? Patrik laughs to Branden that he needs to make a model cry; otherwise it won't be a perfect shoot. OK. He's apparently complaining, because Jordan hears and is bothered considering the boys are being shot more in the first place. Wow, he really is young. Patrik apparently obliges and shoots Branden solo. Branden still isn't happy because he wasn't asked to be ROWDY. Whatever, baby boy, pull it together.

After bitching to themselves that the boys have been shot in six looks while they have had only one, Salome and Jordan get another shot. Jonathan says that seeing Salome photographed was revealing, because you can see how she's pushing herself in front of the other girl. You end up only looking at Salome. Maybe he's right. I love her though. Next, they decide to shoot the girls topless in underwear. Jordan has to wear the drawers that Branden has been wearing. She is not happy about it. A stylist tells her, "A little crack sweat never hurt anybody." That is a fucking lie. The girls are shot with their boobs covered with hands and hair and it's a very dated looking shot to me. They're standing on this ledge and Jordan almost falls and screams, "They're trying to push me off. Sabotage!" Branden says that Mountaha nailed the shoot. He considers her a silent threat. Patrik shoots Salome alone (which kills Jordan) and she rocks it. Patrik, at one point, directs her to be "very rock n' roll promiscuous." Sandhurst interviews that, though Salome's body is not high fashion model thin, her body is amazing. Mountaha is also shot alone.

Afterwards, Dallas says that he got the gritty, rock n' roll stuff that he wanted. Patrik says that he got all of the shots that he needed. In fact, he got more good stuff than he expected. When they get home, Jordan tells Jonathan that he stood out at the shoot. He interviews that he thinks he will be in two or three of the images. Branden tells Salome that he's upset about the shoot. He interviews that he tried very hard and, then he starts crying. It's sad. I'm not being glib -- I think this might be some of his daddy issue stuff coming out. He tells Salome that the guy kept pulling him out of shots. He keeps crying in his interview, and seriously it's so sad. He says that the competition is down to only good people and he doesn't feel like he can compare. OK, this is sick, but I'm only being honest. Branden has never, not in his whole entire hot little life, been as fucking smoking as he is crying in this interview. I recall having the same reaction about someone in some other recap from the vault. Maybe it's my own hang-up. It does something really beautiful to his face though. I love little gay-fearing Branden and nothing can make me stop. He weeps, gasping for air, that he is going to try his hardest on the catwalk. He believes that he deserves to be here and he wants to show people what he can do.

Make Me A Supermodel

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