Making the Band
A Furor In Germany

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B+ | Grade It Now!
"I'm Not Here. This Isn't Happening."

Ashley walks into the hotel, where Trevor and Erik just happen to be standing at the doorway. Trevor instantly asks Ashley what happened to his clothes. Boston Mike is pushing the boys back to the doorway, telling them they can all chat in the car. Ashley is "apologizing," but there's no point.

"Fifteen Minutes to Show Time!" Ashley eats something as Erik says, "Today was so weird. Like, the whole day." No kidding. People, check out the wisdom that Ashley learned today: "American fans are just as crazy? But German fans are crazy in a different way, you know what I mean?" Life lesson #5, my man.

The subtitles read, "There's their bus! Get going, Mom!" Now, if you watched the Sunday rerun of this episode, you couldn't read any of the subtitles because of the lower right-hand corner commercial blurb thing. It's some "fans" in a "car" with a camera crew. They're following the bus-car-van of O-Town in the dark. "Pull in behind the others!" the subtitles read as the car pulls up behind a tour bus.

Ashley tells Dan to look out the back window (and I don't think they're on a tour bus) to count the number of cars following them. The show's in how many minutes?

"Oh my God! We're catching up!" the subtitle reads.

Ashley counts the cars on the road but doesn't know what comes after "six" and stops. That's not cars following you, Ashley. That's called "traffic."

"That homing device Susan put in Ashley's pants is working perfectly!" the subtitle reads. I shit you not. They even add an Ed Wood spaceship noise so we can pretend they have a homing device in the car.

Ashley says the following sentence: "They have, like, an intricate network of, like, fans that are all, like, radioing and cell phoning each other."

Subtitle: "Yes, they're exactly 120 meters ahead. Don't lose the signal." What the fuck is happening, you guys?

Dan looks out the back window and says he thinks they've been spotted because they're "all up on the tail of the bus."

The girls shout hello from their own cars, but nobody can hear them. Just us. Trapped. Trapped in a Twilight Zone episode.

Dan and Ashley pretend to build tension by shouting, "That car is following close!"

The girls inside have the subtitle, "Look! There's my love god, Ashley!"

I swear I'm not making any of this up. There's some The Fast and the Furious car chase with pissed-off moms and determined teenage girls flanking the tour bus. They just use random cuts of the tour bus making a right-hand turn, so there's really no tension, just a lot of videotape and adrenaline-filled music.

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Making the Band




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