Making the Band
Band Of Brothers

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B | Grade It Now!
Five to One

Back to Florida, reality, et al. The screen splits into four as Erik explains that they're all still working on "the writing process." In each of the four screens, there's an O-Town member trying to "write" and "sing."

Jacob tells us that bands are either "Performers" or "Artists," and he wants to prove that O-Town can be artists. Dan's singing "American Game." His voice isn't very even. They'll work that out later, though. Moving on...

Erik is working with a recording artist on a song he's thinking about. Tamara Savage is her name, and she wrote such songs you've never listened to as TLC's "Fan Mail" and Whitney Houston's "Heartbreak Hotel." She's sitting in a room with Erik and some other people, and they're trying out lyrics for this song, "Get Away." Erik says he's hoping that he and Tamara "can take it to another level together." Get Away, indeed. So, we're learning how to write a song, here. Someone hits "play" on a track that someone else has already written. It's music in that normal time signature, nothing new, and nothing that hasn't already been heard on seven other R&B songs. Then five people sit around bobbing their heads, humming and occasionally throwing out words that might rhyme. It sounds exactly like when my mom's trying to get me not to change the radio station because she hates all of my music, but she doesn't remember any of the lyrics for her oldies' station song, so she just mumbles, hums, and busts out the chorus as loud as she can. Erik figures out that the word "monogamy" can fit in the song and everyone cheers because "I give you some mahogany" wasn't really working out so well.

Dan's feeling a little humble about the song "Yes or No": "The song would never have existed if it wasn't for me." He says that knowing that he wrote the song is giving him a "glow." It sure is. That Dan. Once he shaves off that gross stuff that grows only under his chin and around his neck, he might be something worth saving. That comes from my heart.

Ashley is trapped in a very bad high-school musical, and he's calling it "By Your Side." It's a horrible Diane Warren-wannabe song that makes my eyebrows hurt. Ashley has to hold on to his own head while he sings it, because the body's natural instinct when it hears the song is to expel the ears from the head. Ashley tells us that most writers "dream" about presenting songs to Clive Davis, and now they get an entire afternoon with him pitching songs for his approval. He says he has to take advantage of this huge opportunity. The sound mixer guy asks Ashley how old he is. Ashley says he's twenty. Tommy the Gay Sound Mixer flirts, "How'd you get so deep at twenty?" Ashley incorrectly answers: "I listen to Dr. Laura." The gay man then tells Ashley that he no longer likes him and promptly ignores Ashley for the rest of the session, no matter how many times Ashley tries to tell him that he was joking.

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Making the Band




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