Making the Band
Band Of Brothers

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B | Grade It Now!
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Five to One

Erik's pretending to be Craig David in that annoying way that Craig David is physically unable to sing unless he's pointing at something. Then we get a torturous medley of all the boys practicing all of their songs at once in a messy edit where all I want to do is cry and stop recapping forever. The madness! Escalating! The music! Awful! Awful! The horror! The pain! No! No! Make it stop! Mother? Mother? Mother, I'm having a terrible nightmare and I'd like to wake up! O-Town! Imprisoning me! All that I see! Absolute horror! I cannot live! I cannot die! Trapped in my room! Recaps my holding cell! O-Town! Has taken my sight! Taken my speech! Taken my hearing! Taken my arms! Taken my legs! Taken my soul! Left me with life in hell! The segment ends with shots of palm trees followed by shots of cop cars, so I'm assuming that O-Town's neighbors have called the cops. And I thought the Osbournes would have made shitty neighbors...Ha. Then they have shots of ambulances and fire engines. I assume those have been called to assist me. Thank you, MTV, for thinking of my safety.

Silent Mike asks how the songs are going for Clive. The boys say that the songs are going well, but that they need a couple more days. They complain that they have more songs than they have time to record. Mike reminds them that this is their first "sit-down" with Clive, and that if the shit doesn't rock, it's going to be their last "sit-down" with Clive. He reminds the boys that they're up against real songwriters, so they shouldn't be too disappointed when nothing they've written ends up on the album. Why does everybody keep mentioning Nelly when they talk about top songwriters? If O-Town ends up with a Nelly song, I'm taking my ball and going home. No more kickball with those rules. Silent Mike tells the boys that right now they're in danger of being One-Hit Wonders, since nobody really listened to "Liquid Dreams" or "We Fit Together," but "All or Nothing" was a smash. You know, I didn't even know it was a smash hit. I heard it whenever I was out shopping, but I didn't know that meant it was a hit. I just thought it was so inoffensive that they could play it in malls. Silent Mike explains that the second album is very important, and that the "sophomore slump" is a very real curse. He tells the boys that they have to put everything into this second album, and can't have anything else going on in their lives. Like, maybe, a camera crew following them around interviewing them for a television show? Just wondering.

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Making the Band

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