Making the Band
Band Of Brothers

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Pamie: B | Grade It Now!
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Five to One

Dan's up first. Jacob reminds us in a voice-over, "The odds are that not all of us will get a song on the record." We. Fucking. Get. It. Dan and Clive hug as Clive gives Dan a little dig about being late. As Jacob explains that Clive doesn't need O-Town's hand-written songs, we see a montage of still photos of the boys attempting to sing. Got it. Get on with it. Go! Dan's a pretty good salesman, all proud of his shit, bendy neck flipping out. He plays "Yes or No." He tells Clive that he might want to turn his stereo up in case he needs to headbang. Clive is amused by Dan's jokes. Dan grooves to his own song as Clive listens. He does move his head a bit, but that may just be how one reads a sheet of paper at his age. Dan tells us he's getting a good feeling about it. Clive tells Dan that there are two categories for songs. One: a hit. Two: a pool of non-hits that basically aren't going to be used. Dan's song? Pile two. The pile shaped like a trash can.

Jacob's up next, but everybody's wearing the same outfits as when Jacob introduced "Meant For You" last week, so you know it's the same day. Jacob explains that "American Game" is a different sound and a smart move since 'N Sync and Backstreet Boys are going R&B. I had no idea that's what they were doing. But what a smart move not to do what everyone else does in your conformist musical genre. If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: teen girls love some fucking classic rock. Jacob plays the song as a group of men pretend to like it. They nod their heads like they're listening to the latest forecasts. Jacob tells us that he's nervous, but he believes that he's good enough. Clive, however, doesn't think that he's good enough. "This is more individualistic, this song. I don't think that any of us wants that," he says. Thank you, Clive. He tells Jacob that the song's going into the circular pile known as "Poo Wipers." We get Jacob's same line from last week where he knows Clive is a genius but he disagrees with everything he says. What does that make you, exactly, Jacob?

Ashley's playing his horrible song. Seriously, the line "Not a mountain too high/ Not a doubt in my mind" is in this song. Ashley tells us that he wished the song would hurry up and end. That's how I felt too, Ash. Clive: "In writing in the romantic ballad area you either hit it or you don't hit it. It doesn't mean -- and I'm not saying this to be polite -- it doesn't mean that 'By Your Side' is not a decent song showing songwriting potential..." Clive's gotta crush on Ash-ley! "For this kind of tempo, ballad, emotion, too many songs of this nature will wimp the group out." I don't know what he just said, but I agree with every word.

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Making the Band

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