Making the Band
Becoming O-Town

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MTV Plays Lou Pearlman

Amy the stylist comes in and gives the guys their clothes for the video. It's just Hawaiian shirts and tennis shoes. Nothing exciting at all, but the boys are totally stoked that they get to keep the clothes. Oh, I just figured it out. They've drawn fake neck and chin hair on the young FakeDan so it looks like Dan's scary facial hair, but he only has it drawn on every once in a while. That's why I'm not recognizing the clean-shaven kid all that often.

FakeAshley tells us he's ready to shoot the video now, and he's willing to go to sleep if he has to, but he'd rather just shoot the video now than have to wait until the morning. Riveting commentary, NotAsh.

The boys are up at five in the morning, which means they got to stay in their hotel room for about six hours. Poor kids. The boys are sleepy as they pull each other out of their beds. FakeAshley wears silk pajamas, y'all. It's still dark out as the boys get into their limo.

PseudoTrevor: "Well, in the video there's a yacht. And there's a beach. And there's girls. And uh, I'm excited about all three." Wow.

The shoot's at Marina Del Rey. ["Ew, they're right down the street from where I used to live. I'm glad I moved." -- Wing Chun] The boys freak out when they see the boat. FakeTrevor tells us that he feels "undeserving of this." FakeErik is amazed that they have their own trailers and refrigerators and a view.

10:04 Am, and it's time for the pep talk. Thus sayeth Swoop: "Hey! Y'all 'bout ready to do this, fellas? Yeah! Fellas, you gonna be doing the right thing. You just get out here and you know what you're supposed to do. Be yourself. Be them. Same time. You know. Make sure you get out here and handle it. Have fun. Enjoy yourself. You know I'm saying? 'Sall you gotta do." Shit, that's the best pep talk ever given. The boys all break on an "O-Town!"

Poor FakeJake has the stupidest outfit. What is wrong with Jacob Underwood that he'd go for the "Smooth Criminal" look?

The boat is going nuts applauding the arrival of No-Town. FakeDan can't believe how amazing it is being on the same boat that O-Town was on.

What do you say, FakeErik? "I saw what it looked like in the monitor and that split second I said, 'No way.' I said, 'This looks awesome.' I said, 'I'm not, there's no reason to be nervous.'" How did they end up finding five boys stupider than O-Town? How did they do that? Amazing.

1:25. Lunch at the In-N-Out Trailer. The poor teen girl working the In-N-Out catering truck looks at No-Town like, "What the fuck kind of shitty-ass job do I really have? I serve burgers to fake celebrities? To kids pretending to be fifth-rate musicians? I went to beauty school for this?" I don't understand why, but suddenly we're watching an In-N-Out commercial where the boys are talking about how "unbelievable" the cheeseburgers are from In-N-Out.

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Making the Band

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