Making the Band
Breaking The Band

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Pamie: B | Grade It Now!
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Two Men Enter, Nobody Leaves

Oh, lordy. Bad music plays as Ashley plays tennis all by himself and Doogie Howsers a voice-over to us to the effect that he would like to act, but O-Town simply must come first in this stage of his life. We're "treated" to O-Town flashbacks in black and white of the boys all together. You know, the "family." Also we see flashbacks of Ashley's glory days in Hollywood. The half-assed auditions and workshops. The hotel rooms. The waiting. The horrible emoting. Ashley plays with his tennis racket. He only has two balls to hit, so they're mostly showing Ashley stalling as he tells us that he's got to let acting go for right now. He says that another role will come along.

Cut to Jacob and the boys in the kitchen listening to Ashley repeat what Silent Mike told all of them in the room. Jacob wears a stupid hat and tells Ashley that he made the right decision. He says that if Ashley were meant to be in that movie, then there wouldn't have been so many obstacles. Ashley agrees, "Totally." Trevor welcomes Ashley back and they hug. Earlier fight? History!

All happiness ensues at the Fleet Center in Boston, Mass. O-Town is fixing to light the stage on fire yet again, wrapping up the Britney tour, holding hands backstage. The five of them pose onstage in smoke, fog, and trick lighting, pretending to sing. We freeze here in time, preserving this moment before Ashley fucks up another song, before the fight backstage where Ashley makes another excuse and then wishes he was back with his real friends in L.A.

Next week, Ashley pretends to get lost and kidnapped in Germany. It looks so fake I think it might be staged with Ken dolls.

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Making the Band

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