Making the Band
Breaking The Band

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Two Men Enter, Nobody Leaves

Ashley is still pleading, telling the guys he's trying to explain the "why" and "how come" of his sucking. Jacob says that Ashley's been making excuses for the past four shows. Ashley says that if he tells them what happened, they're just going to call it his "excuse." Because what you're saying is called an excuse, Ashley. I love Jacob's next bit: "When you're having a problem, when your ears start glitching? You can't focus. You have chronically messed-up timing." Thank you, Dr. Underwood. That'll be $300, kid. Ashley rubs his temples. He tells us that everybody has a "messed-up show." He admits to us that, right now, he wishes they'd all get off his back.

Chuck James is a talent agency at Gersh. He doesn't know me. I don't know him. I don't know who told him about Making the Band. I don't know who he's trying to impress or what he thought would change about his life by getting on this show, but the boy prepared for his day in front of the cameras. He's wearing so much pancake the IHOP on my street closed for inventory. Ashley meets him in some wet alley and makes a big deal about how great it is that Chuck "flew out." Chuck makes the same big deal, so you know they probably filmed this in Los Angeles, but said some scripted lines so it looked like Chuck actually cared or knew who Ashley was. "The show was great," Chuck starts. Ashley asks if Chuck really thinks that. "I loved it!" Chuck lies. You can tell because he actually flinches while he says it. Chuck has sideburns that aren't attached to his hairline. Ashley discusses the "weird technical stuff" as an excuse for his crappy performance. You know, like the lighting, and how they focused the lights so you could see him. Or the sound guy, who turned on Ashley's mic so you could hear him. Ashley says he's pretty sure it wasn't anything that the audience would have noticed. "No, no way," Chuck continues lying, since he wasn't anywhere near that building while O-Town was onstage. Chuck makes a graceful segue into asking Ashley if he's going to have a couple of days off to come out to Los Angeles. Ashley says he does. He says he talked to "them" about it, and everything is set. He's stoked. He says he got some scripts that Chuck sent him, and pretty soon he'll have someone tell him what they say since Ashley doesn't read too quickly. Ashley says he's really excited about all of this and can't wait. Ashley tells us that acting is something that's always been a dream of his. Silly us for thinking that being in a boy band was Ashley's dream. Ashley says that this is all really great since he has someone like Chuck supporting him. Ashley and Chuck just walk off, presumably to the airport to fly to Hollywood right then and there, because that's how dreams get started.

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Making the Band

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