Making the Band
Decision Time

Episode Report Card
Celebrity Deathmatch: Jacob Underwood vs. Ikaika Kahoano

Trevor enters the booth. "He's a virgin," Dakari says in case we missed the white tux from New Year's Eve. "We gotta have some fun with him." After Trev sings something a tad sub-par, Dakari calls to him, "Yo, I want you to be a little more loose. Gimme ten push-ups." Ever the amiable soul, Trevor obliges. Dakari turns around and unleashes a potent snicker. The other band members confirm Trevor's truly obeying the order, and everyone erupts in mocking merriment. What a bunch of shitheads. Trev straightens up and hits the mike again, but doesn't get the line quite right -- or maybe he does; it probably doesn't matter, irrelevant to Dakari's crusade. "Uh-uh. Ten more," Satan says to a shrugging and oblivious Trevor. Dakari chuckles that he'll have done one hundred push-ups by the end of the set. "We have to treat you like this because you're a rookie," Dakari says. Naturally, he's right. The only way to treat an earnest, innocent, hard-working enthusiast like Trevor is to make him feel like the worst and weakest link in O-Town's chain. That is a really special idea. The hell? Could someone please delineate the stellar studio achievements that make the other five seasoned veterans?

Bryan Chan's fans will be sated, but briefly. The two seconds of singing screen-time he gets are about to be...ah, yeah, that's it for this week. Does anyone out there still think he has a chance? Just checking. Jacob tells us Bryan's only weakness is "making his voice fit with everyone's and making a nice, soft, even tone." Mike is next, crooning a couple lines of "All For Love" and proving he's pretty damn solid. "You sound tight, boy!" Dakari confirms. Jacob sings half a verse, then the screen splits to show Erik-Michael recording the falsetto part -- Paul's old role -- during his time in the spotlight. The editors let us hear both together, a little touch I'm not sure I appreciate.

Trevor. More push-ups. His elation is gone, he looks far less entertained by these wacky shenanigans and he shoots a look of polite venom Dakari's way. If Dakari weren't (a) Satan, and (b) huge, Trevor would be borrowing a can opener to unleash the whoop-ass and let it freely seek and destroy. But he finally nails the "all for you" harmony and the rude rejoicing begins. "I can't BELIEVE he did it!" Dakari shouts, preacher-style. "God, oh, the Lord has blessed you!" Trevor plays the good sport, high-fiving people and joking that it only took one-hundred-thirty takes. "Don't worry, bro," Mike whispers. "That on-screen 'fight' between Ranger Marc and Jacob last week took way longer." Dakari wants his moment of fame. To the tune of the line Trevor had tried to sing, Dakari croons, "It's about damn time" twice. Ha ha ha, Satan's a comic. Except, oh wait, he's not -- he's just a walking, talking, hulking turd.

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Making the Band




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