Making the Band
Going To The Chapel…

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Nice Contest, Trash

There's excitement in the air of the tour bus as Ashley informs us that the bus is spending an evening in Las Vegas. Are these kids old enough to gamble? I thought they weren't. As Trevor celebrates three days off, Silent Mike (who is no longer silent this season) informs them that it won't be "all days off," and that they're actually going to be working while they're in Vegas. They have a radio contest to do. "Win a Date with O-Town," Mike says. Jacob gets nauseous. Ashley rubs his mouth, wondering if he'll have to lose his virginity to girls on this date. Trevor reminds us of the video he made in which he said, in a creepy whisper, "Hey, I'm Trevor and I want you to pick me for your date." Yikes. Why is this contest only in Las Vegas? Jacob is pissed off about this, wishing he were in a band that played instruments and had real groupies. Mike on the Mike have picked the finalists, and now the boys have to pick the final finalists for the final finalist finale on this fine Vegas vacation. Jacob pretends he's feeling sick. It's fun to watch him hate everyone on the bus. It's hard to admit that you understand what Jacob's going through, but for the first time in my life, I totally sympathize with Jacob.

The worst part about these opening credits is that it looks like the boys were shot without any music playing behind them. Everyone's too close to the camera making these ridiculous arm gestures. Erik's "come hither" thing, Jacob's "fuck off" thing, Jacob's "my music is hardcore" snap with an overbite, and Dan's "my neck is bendy" thing. I can't stand it. I can't even look at these credits anymore.

The first Date Hopeful is a girl with a sense of humor and a love of Ashley. She says that Ashley will get anything Ashley wants. She says that if Ashley wants a showgirl, she'll get him a showgirl. Cut to the girl asking a showgirl if she'll do a dance for Ashley. "I would love to," the showgirl lies, "but they just called places." All of this stuff is so fake, but it's still pretty funny, in that everybody other than the girl trying to win the date hates O-Town. Including the Blue Man Group, who shun the girl's request to have them do something for Ashley. They run away, terrified in silence. The girl's name is Tammy. Wait. I'm sure it's *~~TaMmiE~~*. Ashley says he thinks that *~~TaMmiE~~* is "very, very creative." That means he doesn't find her too pretty, but that's okay. She is creative, and I like her and her Blue Man connections. The boys all clap and say that *~~TaMmiE~~* won them over.

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Making the Band

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