Making the Band
Goodbye Friends

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Two Winners, Five Losers?

In a montage of all the shows of which ABC is proud, Making the Band clips are conspicuously absent.

Ikaika is the gym teacher from Hell, forcing his bandmates to hang from the doorframe and do pull-ups. He will be installing a rope in the living room tomorrow. On the phone with Malia, Ikaika boasts they'll be in shape in no time, and assumes they're really grateful for his athletic influence. "I'm great for that, because it's what I do for myself," Ikaika says. To his girlfriend, Ikaika mocks Erik's inability to do one pull-up. Simultaneously, we see him struggle, with Jacob holding his knees as his legs flail and splay around. Erik does six and quits, and for some reason fails to kick Ikaika in the teeth. "I shoulda said, 'Come on guys, my girlfriend lifts better than you do,'" Ikaika laughs rudely. He is a rotten pineapple. Jacob butts in that no one likes it when Ikaika takes over like that, and implies they aren't working hard enough or that they have no concept of a truly great workout. Later, in the studio, Ikaika is busy laying into Erik, accusing him of slacking. "Did I not come home sweaty?" Erik protests. It's not good enough -- Ikaika didn't see him in the gym, and thinks he's not committed to the cause. Whatever, Ikaika. Muscles and washboard abs won't get your voice on-key, or turn your extra left foot into a right one. They argue loudly, with Erik contending that Ikaika's out of line. "I'm not up to your level, bro, so don't put me at your level. It's not your place," Erik yells. "Over. Done. Serious." Verbs. Sentences. Unnecessary. Jacob shows up in confessional mode again to reiterate that Ikaika's too judgmental about their fitness levels, and he's wrongly putting himself on a physical-fitness pedestal. Ikaika wants to bitch. "Erik makes a lotta damn excuses, and he's gotta stop doing that," he says. Trevor was practicing in the background that entire time, but the others don't waste their time with piddly band-like tasks such as singing.

Man Van. Ashley's had an epiphany. "Everyone in the entire world is looking at this, and they're gonna want to watch and see if we fall on our faces," he asserts. Damn right! It's only a matter of time. Jacob urges them to remember that they are capable, and can get the upcoming show together in time. "This could be the turning point where we surprise the hell out of everybody," Ashley whispers. Jacob tries again to take over as Chief Motivator, pointing out that the band will never be tight unless each member helps out his other bandmates when they miss a step or forget synchronicity. "Honestly? We're going to need some vocal help," admits Erik. Ikaika agrees the vocals sound awful. "The pitch pipe should be in here," Ikaika says sagely, tapping his forehead. Pitch pipe, schmitch pipe. Pass the crack pipe.

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Making the Band

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