The Mommies are hawking Palmolive's washing-up liquid. Still. They dance and fritter about the kitchen, spreading that flower-fresh scent. I think Jay hired them to clean the O-Zone. Scratch that -- I think one if them is Jay, but in drag.
Cut back to a cheering crowd that welcomes the opening notes of "Baby, I Would." The microphone-stand shuffle -- complete with shoulder motion -- goes over as well as usual, with a few extra-piercing shrieks and some flying teenage love-spittle. Bunim-Murray uses this touching moment to take us through the band's metamorphosis, from the tentative tryouts to the emotional finals to the Very Special Episode where Lou scrapped Mike and Bryan and we all learned a little something new about ourselves. Ashley recalls reading about the national talent search, and recounts the whittling process Lou kick-started when he selected twenty-five finalists. We see Lou inviting Trevor to the Orlando finals, and the singer falls to his knees while clutching Lou's hand and crying. Jeez, they make Lou look almost papal -- I swear Trevor's kissing his ring.
Then there's the staff, which hated every last minute of its job. Ranger Marc, drawing from his inspirational tome The Big Bad Book of Verbal Spankings, bellowed beautifully at the young egotists. "How bad do you want it?" we see him seethe at Erik, Jacob and Ashley. "Is this about fun and games, or about making a group?" Mini-Lou, on day one, wondered where their "heads are at," and Marc once again nails the band. "You are not a star, my friend," he told Jacob, poking his chest. "You are not a star. You're a lab rat." How could we forget New Year's Eve, too, when O-Town disobeyed Jay's orders and dove from a stage? We see Jay admonishing Trevor for arguing with him. Cut back to the mature five singing "Baby I would, baby I will, baby I'll do that gladly..." Then, in a benevolent act of B/M, TyJuan appears on-screen for the last time this season, and -- I hope, for his sake, the last time ever. He's mad, and he lays it all out for a chagrined O-Town. Raymond chimes in, "You think you're the bomb already but you're wrong." This feels like we're eulogizing fallen heroes, which in a sense we are, since the Trans Con staff will never get work in this nation again.
Erik switches the montage to scenes of personal sacrifice, of which he's had very little, but it doesn't stop him from flapping his sizeable gums. "It took us a lot of practicing and a lot of coming together and a lot of sacrificing to get us to this point," Erik informs us. The producers flash a clip of angry stepfather Ronald Angel berating Ashley's career choice and vowing to switch off the television should O-Town appear. Ever the spitfire, mom Paula bows her head and stares at the table so as not to come between her son and some good, ol' fashioned, home-cooked heartless emotional abuse.