Making the Band

Episode Report Card
Pamie: A | Grade It Now!
Ashley and Trevor Cry Themselves to Sleep

Out in the hallway, Ashley cries. He cries and cries and cries. He tells us in a voice-over that his entire life is changing.

Shrilli sits alone in her hotel room thinking, "I wonder when I can call Steve back in Florida to make plans for Friday."

On a tour bus, Ashley checks his messages. None. Poor, lonely Ashley. This is all so fake, here, but I love it. He wakes up Trevor and asks to talk to him. He sits down and tells Trevor that he got turned down this weekend as well. Trevor, like the good friend he is, starts laughing his ass off. He asks whether Ashley's serious. Ashley says he is. Trevor's all, "You asked her to be with you again?" What is that? "Be with you." So stupid. Ashley says he did, and that Shrilli said no. They slap hands and bond over being losers.

As O-Town pulls into a Wal-Mart parking lot where one hundred girls are wearing their best Bonne Bell in anticipation, Trevor sums up this episode with the following words of wisdom as Richard Marx plays in the background: "Do I want a girlfriend? A lot of the time I do. A lot of the time I do. But a lot of the time I don't just because I see how it's hard to keep a girlfriend when you're in a band." So deep.

The boys forget all woes as they see how many people are at the Wal-Mart parking lot. Don't they know that people go there to shop? They get off the van, and Ashley tells us he might not ever find a girl he falls so deeply in love with as he did with Shrilli. He says that's hard knowledge at nineteen. He says it's a sacrifice he's willing to make. Because Ashley will never love anybody the way he loves Ashley. Erik pushes Ashley on the ass and moves him towards the...hey! Batteries are on sale for $4.97!

We then hear the words to "All or Nothing," because this is the "Art Imitates Life" or the "Horrible Songwriting Imitates Faked Reality Television" episode. Small girls cry and scream as the boys sign autographs. A young girl over-emphatically says, "I love you, Ashley." See? Strangers love Ashley, but his girl doesn't. Ashley asks the young girl if he can give her a hug. She wipes her tears away and he hugs her. She looks at her mom. Her mom is pleased that Ashley wasn't an asswipe to her daughter.

Everyone but Jacob stands on chairs and waves to the Wal-Mart shoppers. He's never invited anywhere. I love it. I wonder what he does with all of his spare time. Maybe he's actually getting some loving in the tour bus right now with the last girl standing.

Next week: Dan speaks! Ashley thinks that there are only four people in the group. Y'all, I'm serious. I don't think Jacob's actually in O-Town. It's just a lie they keep telling him as an elaborate Make-A-Wish Foundation stunt. Dan screams at Ashley. Ashley's all, "Oh, no, girl, don't you even." It just keeps getting better, doesn't it?

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Making the Band




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