Making the Band

Episode Report Card
Pamie: A | Grade It Now!
Ashley and Trevor Cry Themselves to Sleep

LAX. Jacob says the following words of wisdom: "It's really hard to be a girlfriend in a band. I mean we travel all the time. It's tough." Jacob holds hands with a girl as he explains that she's his best friend. Her name is Janie, and she's who he "depends on for everything." That's healthy. He says that they dated in the fifth, sixth, and seventh grade, so you know that their love is pure and true. They dated when they were ten. They dated in a simpler time, before puberty and physical attraction. He says she motivates him, is whom he leans on, is his shoulder to cry on. Poor, poor girl. We see them walk out of LAX. Jacob is manhandling the back of her neck. Janie continues to look downward, not making direct eye contact with Jacob. He rubs her side and then kisses her neck.

In another corner of Arrivals, Shrilli has one of those luggage carts -- you know, the carts for families that have tons of luggage? It's just her, but she brought so much luggage that she needs a cart. She frantically looks around as though Ashley forgot her again. Ashley tells us that he's glad Shrilli came out because he's missed her and he knows they don't get to talk and hang out like they used to. "Used to," like, two weeks ago?

Jacob bends Janie back and tries to kiss her. No dice.

Shrilli looks so pissed off. Ashley tells her that she should "hang out" with Janie while he "works." He tells her that they should be "pals." Breaking her vow of silence, Shrilli starts with, "Like, what are you gonna do today?" Ashley admits that he's not doing anything until later, when he has a taping. He says it's time to check into the hotel.

Inside the elevator of nausea, Jacob's singing some line all to himself about being contagious. Then he leans in and kisses Janie. Trevor, always with the crappier line, says that Jacob is contagious, and then starts macking on his own girlie. I'm feeling quite ill. Poor Janie. I bet Jacob sings like that all the fucking time.

Kelly and Shrilli meet, and it sounds like the dolphins are getting fed at Sea World. Shrilli doesn't remember meeting Kelly, but Kelly remembers Shrilli. I assume you never forget that noise her body makes when it speaks.

Ashley has his arms around Shrilli and Janie. He tells the girls that it's good to have them both there. Shrilli avoids eye contact.

Jacob tells everyone to get in the limo. As everyone starts sitting down, someone drawls, "We're gonna have to do some major lap-sitting." Gross. Cleve! He totally busts the boys, saying that the limo is an eight-passenger vehicle, so not everyone can fit in it. Wait. Five boys, three girls. Isn't that eight? Oh, right. Cleve. He says that they can be fined a thousand dollars a person for going over the limit, so only eight people can go. "Period," he finishes.

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Making the Band




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