Making the Band

Episode Report Card
Pamie: C- | Grade It Now!
Is That Sideshow Bob?

Hi. I'm Pamie. Some of you may know me from such intense recaps as Gilmore Girls or Young Americans. I've never watched this Making the Band show before. But I'm in love with Djb. And he needed me to help him out this week. Does that qualify me to recap this show? I think it does. And don't act all offended like you don't know who I am. I recognize your face from my Popstars recaps. That's right. I know you sneak them. Your O-Town loyalty only runs so deep.

Okay, I'm learning here, so bear with me. I just entered this world of pseudo-testosterone. Marky Mark is singing in a studio while some guy is jamming out in the background, tossing fingers in the air with the reckless abandon that only supreme music can create. By the way, I can't tell what song is playing because Marky Mark just keeps wailing away, but the corner of the screen says "Girl." Either they're playing a cruel trick on poor Marky Mark, or that's the creative name of this caterwauling. Oh, wait. They got closer on Marky Mark. That can't be him. Marky Mark's much older than that. And not quite this...ugly. This guy's got hair everywhere. The guy in the back is joined by "Warryn Campbell," according to my know-it-all television screen, and these two guys are about to jump out the window with giddiness, as if Marky Mark just finally learned how to drop the cockney accent to inform them that the rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain. Oh, this is the "previously" section of the show. Some kid is saying that Jacob's voice is too rough for the track. Oh, this Marky Mark's kid's name is Jacob. They still name kids Jacob? Whoa. Wow. That's an ugly kid, right there. He's got some scary hair, pouting something about his singing. I can't listen though, because the hair is crying out for help much louder.

And my television either just flipped to an infomercial for fake hair, a scene at Babylon on Queer as Folk, or these are the opening credits. But I recognize Tiny Squares of Boys and Fun anywhere. It's the Tiny Squares of Reality-Based Popstar Life. We all speak the same language. Eden's Crush or O-Town -- it's just five kids who think they have a say in things all being led by the same puppetmaster. Ashley. Does he sing for Radiohead? Erik. Hee. What's with that kid's tiny lip patch of hair? Dan. Man, why do they have one Monkey Boy per boy band? Why? Trevor. Is it possible to have a condition where all of your facial features have been enlarged to the point of impossiblity? Because this boy's got it. Jacob. I think this kid's gonna cause some problems. And I don't just know this because I've already watched the episode once.

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Making the Band




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