Making the Band

Episode Report Card
Pamie: A- | 362 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
"Something, Something, Move, Move, Move!"

Ashley says that he's not sure how they're going to compete with Britney. Erik is worried because they only have a week to get ready for this tour. Ashley says they won't have any smoke and mirrors when Britney's going to be nothing but smoke and mirrors, and they still have to do a show that impresses people. I can see Ashley's concern, here. None of them is going to hang upside down from a swing so that we can see their titties. Maybe Dan could look into that.

Ed explains that Britney is going to be good, and he's glad she's going to be good so that O-Town can then strive to be as good. Jacob examines a roll of tape instead of listening as Ed calls for "some real flyness."

Ashley's hair keeps changing lengths; at one point it looks like Trevor is talking to Rachel from The Real World Back to New York. Trevor says this hasn't all hit him yet, that they're going to open for Britney. He says, "I don't want to meet her and be like...you know, I wanna actually meet her." Does Trevor think "opening for Britney" means he gets to have sex with her backstage?

We see more clips of Britney's old VMA performance, as if we've forgotten what she looks like for six seconds. Actually, it's smart on the editor's part, because I'll keep watching this show hoping for that shot of Britney on her back with her legs spread where we can see her vagina. Trevor tells us that he likes Britney for "like, five reasons." In a breakthrough moment, the screen fills with a shot of Britney's stage, a tiny square of Britney frozen in the corner, and the title: "Five Reasons Trevor Likes Britney." And then, the strangest thing happens: I laugh. Not because someone said something stupid. Not because I'm weakened in my trapped position. Not because I'm exhausted. It's actually funny that the editors make this list for Trevor and his reasons. Congrats, MTB; Season Three is looking up. Reason #1 that Trevor likes Britney: "She fine."

We watch the boys dance to one of their songs. The caption reads "Choreography Rehearsal." Well, they still think we're kinda dumb. Oh, well. You can't fix everything in one season, can you? Erik tells us that they want to be the "cleanest dancing group out there." Impossible. Have you looked at Jacob? Oh, they mean dance-wise. Still impossible. The boys run through a number that ends with them frenetically miming smacking a girl's ass. Trevor then runs through it again, only remembering the part where he mimes smacking the ass. He says it all stern and passionate and it comes out like, "One, two, something, something, move, move, move!" Instantly I hear the opening strains of A Chorus Line. Jacob complains. Ed doesn't want to hear it. He says Jacob's not hitting his spot because he's not doing it right, not because it's too difficult. Trevor says something, something, move, move, move to the effect that critics who review O-Town at this Britney show will be more important than the critics that review them at their own shows. Whatever that means.

Making the Band

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