Making the Band

Episode Report Card
Pamie: A- | 362 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
"Something, Something, Move, Move, Move!"

Back at the trailer, No Name is still insisting that he thought they were going to win. Did they leave him here in this trailer during the show? "Yeah, that sucks," Jacob sighs. He's wearing his Michael Jackson Thriller jacket. Ashley tells us that it might just be wishful thinking, but he still thinks the song was good enough to win. Certainly in that group of songs, it was a song that sucked just as badly as every other song there.

I don't know why, but Clive invites the guys to his gigantic hotel room in Vegas to give them a pep talk on their loss. I love that they had to leave their trailer to meet with Clive in his penthouse at the Bellagio. He reminds them that lots of songs came out over the past year, and just being one of the five nominated is a big deal. He says that "more than thousands" of songs came out last year. Does he mean millions? Because Clive might just as well be all, "A kamajillion songs came out last year. And you're one of the five safest! Congrats." Clive then says the words "spectacular," "celebration," "tangible," "recognition," and "best record." The kids all shake their heads and look down, recovering from the polysyllabic beating they just received.

Back in O-Town, O-Town is trying to learn how to dance. Again. This time they're just learning how to bounce. Bouncing is hard, apparently. Jacob dances like he's on a tightrope. "We just have to be tight," Ashley says. I giggle. "Because it's gonna be raw up there," he concludes. I don't know what he just said, but it's damn sexy. Because I'm imagining he's saying it naked.

Man, every time they give me a clip of the boys dancing and singing, I just start laughing. This "I love it when you take me down, down, down under your spell" song has choreography where they mime fisting. I think Jacob thinks that if he dances badly enough, they won't make him dance with the rest of the group and will let him just play guitar while they dance. Ed talks some choreography-speak that is mostly just boring, clipped with dance bits that don't have anything to do with what he's saying. As we watch the boys practice lip-synching while looking "natural," Jacob tells us that they still suck. Ashley sits in front of an image of blurry school buses as he tells us he's anxious.

Making the Band

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