Making the Band
The Britney Spears Tour

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B+ | Grade It Now!
"Something, Something, Move, Move, Move!"

Come on. You missed it. You couldn't believe it happened, and when it did, you were shocked and then filled with that warm glow. The warm glow that says, "I wasn't ready to give those O-Town boys up yet." Or at least the warm glow of "I love Pamie." Right? Right? Well, in any event, MTV has ordered you to love O-Town and give it equality among pop bands. In fact, on the show airing before this episode -- How To Be a Popstar -- they seamlessly included O-Town with Britney, Backstreet Boys, Mandy Moore, and Usher. They even added some chick named Willa Ford so O-Town weren't the losers of the show. Willa who?

Previously on Making the Band: Season One. Followed by Season Two. (MTV doesn't even mention this is a new season -- they just call it a "new episode," like MTV has always supported O-Town's efforts.) Clive Davis called the boys "the stars of tomorrow." He just didn't know how far away "tomorrow" was. It's "tomorrow" in Creation time. There's only, like, one clip from Season One, and suddenly the boys are rejoicing that their song is on the air. Trevor's pants fall off again. Ashley is shouting into a cell phone that he's on the radio. I get whiplash when suddenly O-Town gets an award for going platinum. Can you keep up with that?

Welcome to Season Three. Silent Mike is holding a meeting. He explains that the last tour is just finishing up, and O-Town was playing small venues. He calmly explains that they just got an offer to open for Britney Spears. "Who?" Trevor smiles. "Britney Spears," Mike repeats, unaware of this thing called "comedy." Ashley looks down and beams inside his American flag ski cap. Trevor jumps up and dances. Erik rubs his shoulder. Dan tries to look out from underneath his giant Mushmouth cap, but it doesn't work. Ashley then actually explains to us who Britney Spears is as we watch a clip from Britney's two-year-old VMA performance. Ashley tells us that Trevor is a giant Britney fan. "Don't let him tell you any differently," he warns us. Trevor isn't trying: "Every guy who's a guy wants to meet Britney, and I'm gonna do it for you guys out there. Just for you."

All celebrating stops with this next tire-screech of a statement: "I don't really wanna open up for anybody." Oh, Jacob. How I missed you. Everybody gets all sullen, pretending to listen to Jacob's "logic." He thinks they're too important to have to play second fiddle to some pop girl nobody's heard of. He doesn't want to be an opening act, when they've been headlining since he was five. He doesn't want to do some crap-ass half-hour show when the lights are still on in a gigantic arena like the Staples Center when he could be doing a full hour and a half to seven people in the Austin Convention Center. Silent Mike promises they'd get fifty minutes. "Is there any other opening act?" Jacob asks. "It's just you guys and Britney," Silent Mike says, fully and openly hating Jacob now. Jacob actually spins this so that he thinks O-Town will be the "special guests" of the concert. Whatever makes you lip-synch, boy. Ashley says, "So that's gonna be a huge tour." Silent Mike agrees, and says it'll be "the biggest thing out this fall." Not missing a second, Jacob notes, "I think we deserve a lot more." Silent Mike avoids eye contact with Jacob as he explains to the band that this is an opportunity to play to twenty thousand people who wouldn't normally buy a ticket to see O-Town. His words, not mine. The rest of the boys are quiet, just trying to figure out how much twenty thousand is, wondering if they'll get to see Britney naked. Well, probably not all of them are thinking that. Maybe just Trevor. Silent Mike asks if he should call them back and confirm the gig, as if they're not already confirmed for the gig. Jacob looks down and gives a reserved sigh. Trevor says he thinks they should do the gig. Everybody teases that Trevor is going to think they should do the gig. Erik tries to play some bullshit that he sort of understands where Jacob is coming from, but basically everyone tells Jacob to go suck his guitar somewhere because they want to open for Brit-Brit. Jacob says, "I just wanna play." Does he mean music? Play music? Does that mean he's quitting O-Town? Jacob tells us that after Mike on the Mike explained things to him (read: told him he had to do the show), he understood that the show would be good for the band. He says that you have to take a small step back to take a step forward. I don't, Jacob. You do. "If we can pull it off, it'll be really good," Dan concludes. Were truer words ever spoken?

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Making the Band




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