Making the Band
The Vacation

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The Crying Game

Last week's "O-Town: Adventures in Deutschland" wasn't worth a thirty-second rehash, but I'll give you a quickie anyway: Erik got sick, then better; Dan got irritated, then recovered; Jacob got cocky, then...cocky. Before you watch this episode, Making the Band wants you to remember that Ashley and Dan both have girlfriends. Only one of those ladies is well adjusted. A few weeks ago, Jay dared the guys to sustain a healthy relationship during the upcoming years, and something tells me -- it's a radical idea -- that someone's girlfriend gets jettisoned in the next half hour.

Every time the show shot off-course, I wish the producers had changed the credits. It'd be so much more interesting if they chronicled the process as it actually happened: Twenty-five to eight to seven to five to four to five, who then Make the Band. Sigh. Too bad they didn't ask me.

Trevor leads the band into the Pearlmansion for a meeting with its lumpy tenant. "You have the option of either going to Cancun or not going," Lou explains, making perhaps the biggest no-brainer offer since a few weeks ago when he invited Ikaika to live with him. Dan and Jacob choke out, "Going, going, we want to go," almost faster than Ikaika sputtered, "No, no, for God's sake, no." The gang sprawls on Lou's couch, having learned this sitting technique from weeks of watching Lou try to negotiate the world's confounding maze of chairs and sofas. Tony Harrison, the producer from Düsseldorf, stands in the background. Forget what I said about his bizarre German enclave -- I think Tony's avid attachment to O-Town counts even more compellingly toward my theory that he's in music-industry exile. "We have a huge show coming up," Jacob tells us. "We're just going to move our rehearsals [to Cancun], which is kinda weird, but I think it's just a break." As Jabba skulks around his lair, his prodigious belly swirling like a tutu, the camera catches sight of -- I am NOT kidding -- a C-3PO statue sitting on a coffee table. Looks like Jabba the Gut is taking his likeness a bit seriously. Ranger Marc jumps out in a skimpy bronze bikini and chains himself to Lou's wrist. Jabba asks if any of the girlfriends are coming to Cancun, to which Ashley nods and Dan pipes up to ask whether it's okay for him to invite Cindy. Dan's main concern, he shares, is whether she can stick around and watch rehearsals to get a taste of what his life's become. Lou just stares at him, lost in a fantasy of O-Town's hero whipping his "light saber" from its Hanes cotton sheath, so Jacob answers for him. Dan's thrilled that Cindy can see everything. "I'm excited to see her, and that she gets to come out and experience what I go through every day with this group," Dan says. R2-D2 pops in to serve drinks.

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Making the Band

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