Trisha says that she wants to be happy so she won't be bored. Who came up with these sound bites, anyway? These are, like, the worst sound bites ever. She says she has a big mouth, and her friends want her to get a husband so she can have a "muzzle." Yeah.

Xavier is looking fine in his suit, and has a French accent. Actually, he talks exactly like Henri, the guy on Cheers who was always telling Woody, "Ah am go-eeng to steal your giiiirlfriend!" He says that if he loved me, he would cook me deee-nner. I like him. And then he says "I may not have een-vented French keees, but I am definitely the master of it." No, that really happened.

Darrien says she's a professional athlete. I'm not sure what she does, but from the way she walks, I think she may be in horse racing. As the horse. (Rimshot!) She is wearing the world's least flattering pink-on-pink dress. She's a fitness professional from Redondo Beach, which means she is an archetype and she gets to go on the next version of Noah's Ark if we ever have another flood.

Vincent is wearing a nice suede jacket. Then he says, "Through real estate, I'm building wealth for me and my future wife." Hey, I know him! He sent me an email the other day with the subject line, "Make money fast this really works missalli 47rjdw89903kdsf9fgl."

Darcey thinks that being on this show is God's plan for her. But Darcey, God loves us all! She also says she's a "visual merchandising manager." The hell? ["Since my sister got a job at a clothing store last summer, I actually know what that means! She probably designs and sets up the displays in a store." -- Wing Chun]

Kevin G. has recently given up on a career in baseball, because he wants a family. He says, "Love has eluded me." That's a line from a Cole Porter song, incidentally, although I find it hard to believe Kevin G. knows the song. Maybe he just thinks like Cole Porter. And then he says, "Chicks dig me." Okay, he doesn't think exactly like Cole Porter.

Smithy looks like a cartoon character. He's kind of shrimpy, and he's...well, he's named Smithy, for God's sake. He says his parents have the perfect relationship. Moreover, he says he lives in Celebration, Florida, which makes me wonder whether it's one of those Disney towns where everyone has to clip their lawn with nail scissors and wear floor-length bathrobes whenever they walk by a window. ["It is." -- Wing Chun] He says he likes to smile a lot. He is a cartoon character! Or a happy little Disney puppet!