Alessandra is our designated European Woman, and she says her Italian family believes in traditional roles for women. She's been trying to prove that women rule, and this is apparently the thing she thought would be most helpful.

Brian says that if he could change anything about himself, he'd be less of a perfectionist, and have better abs. He has chosen "fun guy" as his persona, so he tries to banter with the audience. The audience is like, "Woooo!," because they have no judgment at all, and are drunk.

Markus is officially The Only Guy Worth Speaking To on this entire show. He says he's managed a sushi bar and was a philosophy major, and he's still looking for "the right fit." He's a little bit too stubbly, but he's far more palatable than most of the rest of these losers.

Denise D. brings the show to a new low when she says that she learned to live life to the fullest after losing friends on September 11th. Jesus. Plus, she's wearing weird, unflattering shiny pants and a top with an off-the-shoulder ruffle. Offensive on so many levels.

"I have Nordic blood in me. I'm strong, noble, and have all my own hair." Thank you, Tony.

Jeff says that he's not macho -- he paints and writes poetry. Basically, his argument is that you should pick him because he's a weenie. I'm not sure how that works.

Cortez says that her grandparents were in an arranged marriage that worked out great, so she wants the same outcome. She doesn't say whether the marriage was arranged by popular vote.

Michael says he makes fun of himself a lot. Well, that will be good practice. He says he'll do anything short of lighting his hair on fire to keep his wife happy. Somewhere, a Fox executive makes a note labeled, "New Idea."

Paul has one thing going for him: he speaks well of Evil Dead 2. Heh. Unfortunately, I'm not sure he knows it's supposed to be funny. He's a web developer and screenwriter from L.A. Oh, okay. THAT guy. I know him.

Sally says people call her silly. Which is funny, because it's like Sally, only different! Ha ha ha ha!

Jeremy says that his past girlfriends haven't liked the fact that he was obsessed with his work and never paid any attention to them, so he wants to get married. Or something. Oh, and he calls Atlanta "Hot-lanta," so he's dead to me.

Scott is a military guy, but also rides a motorcycle. He seems to think there's some inherent contrast in those two things. He's looking for someone "fearless." Hey, didn't one of the women say "fearless"? This is like playing "Concentration." I know we turned over "fearless" earlier...where was that again?