Next to answer is Joshua. He explains that his parents have been happily married for thirty-one years, which is pretty much apropos of nothing. He thinks that in a marriage, you give one hundred percent of yourself sometimes, and then sometimes you get a hundred percent from the other person. Joshua, you see, lives in a black-and-white world in which there is no such thing as a moment in which both he and his wife might be receiving some measure of happiness. Marriage to Joshua would apparently be like being underwater with only one air hose between you -- sometimes you're breathing, and sometimes your husband is breathing, but never both. He smiles emptily in his sea-foam sweater. You know, I can almost imagine what it would be like to push on the side of his head -- I think it would be spongy and uniform, like a Nerf ball.
Jeremy outs himself as a complete punk-ass by starting his response by saying that of course, he will first learn to respond to all of Jennifer's requests with "those three magic words -- 'yes, my queen.'" Wow, that women-as-dictators joke has been hilarious ever since it was published by Ben Franklin's nephew in Ye Olde Humoure Journall in 1789. Jeremy goes on to say that some of his ex-girlfriends have found him to be too focused on his work, so he thinks that one thing he might change would be to shift his attention toward his wife. That's if he had one, of course, which he's not going to if he doesn't get some damn new material. "Yes, my queen" indeed. Ass.
Xavier says that change has been a big part of his life, and he thinks people who don't change are going backwards. He's hip to the change! He's the change man! He's your ambassador of change! There's almost nothing he wouldn't change for his wife. He flashes his gorgeous smile, and the peeps applaud hungrily.
Scott tells us that his parents instilled good values in him about compromise, and he knows that marriage is all about compromise. He doesn't give much of an answer, and he doesn't even have a steamy accent like Xavier does. Oh, how I drown in my ocean of ennui.
And now it's time for what I think is possibly the worst part of this very bad show: this is where Sean reveals a very scandalous secret about one of them. How lame is this segment? Well, it's this lame: the big secret is that Scott, who's thirty-three, lives with his mom. That's a scandalous secret now? What ever happened to sex-change operations? What ever happened to porn? It's so ironic, because this is apparently the only reality-show cast of all time ever that does not have a three-inch thick file of DWIs among them. Anyway, yeah, Scott lives at home. Armed with this critical piece of information, the peeps put their heads together, and now it's time to eliminate someone. The first to go is Paul. Stephcrest explains that he really didn't understand the I/we speech, and Jennifer's a pretty straightforward person, so he doesn't think she'd like the incoherent babbling very much. Asked to respond, Paul gives a weird, twitchy speech in which he smiles tightly and inappropriately at strange junctures. Hmm, I think I've gone from amused to downright unsettled by his fondness for Evil Dead 2. I'm just saying, it's not an instructional video.