At any rate, the peeps will once again have five guys to work with. Despite the fact that there are only five guys left standing on the risers to be called down, the audience still applauds each of them as his name is called, as if he's won something. Wooo! Perhaps it's a way of congratulating them for getting down to the stage without falling. First up is Joshua, our twenty-five-year-old investment banker, who has curly blond hair and big shiny teeth. Joshua reminds me absolutely eerily of someone, but I cannot for the life of me figure out who it is. It's quite honestly driving me nuts. I was thinking for a while that it was a Bunim-Murray person of some vintage, but now I'm thinking it's not. Right behind Joshua, we have Xavier, a.k.a. "Frenchie," who reminds us that he's twenty-nine. "I eem-port clothes from Europe," he explains. I can't help it -- his nicely cut suit makes me think dirty thoughts about accounting. Next, Sean calls down Scott, a rather dull-looking fellow with a mop of discouraged hair; he reminds us that he's in "sales." That's got to be my favorite description of a person's occupation. Could be an international buyer, could work the counter in the men's department at Mervyn's, could go from house to house pushing kitchen cleaner made from oranges. We just don't know. I guess that's what makes him fascinating. Sigh. He makes a really bizarre remark that he's glad he did this, because he and Jennifer "would have never met in a bar." Wha-huh? Yeah, anyway. Next up is Paul, who memorably brought up his affection for Evil Dead 2 during the premiere episode. He says, "I'm a web developer and screenwriter from Los Angeles, California...and a heck of a good guy." I'm sorry, but the first and second halves of that sentence simply do not go together. Finally, we have Jeremy, the very, very irritating self-appointed "funny guy," who starts off like he's going to do stand-up and once again refers to his hometown as "Hot-lanta, Georgia," and therefore is once again dead to me. Dead! As if that weren't enough, he says, "All right, woo!" during his own introduction. He's like the host of his own little dork party. He's blowing up his own balloons, he's got the party hats, and he doesn't need anyone's permission to make his own fun. Stand back -- he's got a kazoo!
Brother Stephcrest asks the five guys, "What's the one thing you'd be willing to change to please your partner?" Now there's a patently dumb-ass question, not that I should be surprised. Are they supposed to pick the most dispensable quality they possess? Shouldn't he be asking what you wouldn't be willing to change to please your partner? Or at least asking for your general philosophy about changing to please your partner? I mean, couldn't they all just say, "Well, I'd be happy to change deodorant brands if it would really make her happy, because as much as I love Speed Stick, I would love my wife more"? I don't understand this question at all. Neither does Paul, because this is his answer, verbatim: "Okay, Stephen. I believe that marriage involves a complete change of being, with the single 'I' turning into the 'we,' and having all the consideration for the 'I' going into the 'we,' considering the two as one -- if this is making any sense [!!] -- but really, the only thing I think I can really count on going into a marriage is change." Wow. I have two words of advice for you, Paul: Less. Weed. ["Also, I am married, and I have been known to go a couple of days without even changing my pyjamas, so whatever on the whole marriage=change thing." -- Wing Chun] Stephcrest looks like he's considering beating the living crap out of poor Paul for unloading that horrible load of crap on the peeps. Alicia tries to nod intelligently, but her neck might just be tired. I don't think she followed Paul on that, either. Oh, and also, right in the middle of that speech about the "I" and the "we," it would have been so funny if Xavier had yelled, "Oui!" But he didn't. No one on this show knows how to have a good time. They should call me.