We return the next day to begin Day 4 at "Copper North Ranch," which I am told is in fact being portrayed by a stunt ranch; namely, the Stonepine Inn. And thanks to my crack research team of emailers, I learned this week that the Stonepine Inn really is where Cruz and Eden's wedding was, for God's sake, which seriously makes me wonder about my own mental health, because I should not know that. Interestingly, the iron gates to the Huggy-Boo have a big "C" and an "N" on them, so I originally thought the producers had rigged them up out of PVC pipe to lend credence to the "Copper North Ranch" concept, but then I discovered that the manor house at Stonepine Inn is called...[drumroll]...Chateau Noel. My detective work is impressive, no? I do feel, after all, like I should do a reasonable amount of work in order to earn the company car and Hawaiian bungalow that recappers now enjoy as a result of the banner ad revenue generated by the 'shipper wars. And Clay (Eeeeeeeears!). Anyway, the morning begins with the four couples sharing breakfast, and then Egghead shows up to deliver some news. The couples are all being put into their own separate villas, so no more sleeping at the Huggy-Boo "manor house." Egghead tells them that these will be their "first home[s] together." Well, all right, Egghead. I suppose they could look at it that way. Denise interviews that she was thrilled at this development, because it would give her a lot more time alone to nag Stephen into kissing her. Love is sure to follow, don't you think?
The packing of bags ensues. It is about as interesting as the packing of bags usually is. Stephen makes sure to take the booze with him, unsurprisingly. Tony and Billie Jeanne arrive at their villa (which is actually Stonepine's "Hermes House," promoted as a "celebrity hideaway"). Inside, they marvel at how cool their new house is. Well, sure! It's a celebrity hideaway! What did you expect? The only possible drawback would be if Ben and J.Lo left their socks draped over the radiator, like they do when they stay at my house. Tony voices over that the house was "like a fairy tale." I move to amend my resolution to ban "fairy tale" also. Billie Jeanne jumps up and down in the living room as Tony voices over how great it is that this will be their "first house together." Which I suppose gives new meaning to the phrase "house of ill repute." Billie Jeanne jumps on the bed to celebrate. Or, I guess, to make sure the springs are up to snuff.