Married By America
Episode 6

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Miss Alli: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Au Revoir, Freedomy

Jennifer insists that she has never "mistreated" Freedomy, and Non-Doctor Don says that he'd like to explore that with Freedomy himself. He asks Xavier about the fact that Jennifer has basically spent the week rejecting him; how does he feel about that? Xavier says that he does feel rejected, and that from the beginning, he's felt that Jennifer just didn't like him. She was willing to be friendly, but (as he puts it) "it's called Married By America, it's not Making Friends By America." Jennifer visibly rolls her eyes. Xavier says, to a smile from "Dr." Jenn, that he does think he and Jennifer have a lot in common, and that it frustrates him that Jennifer won't be more open to getting to know him. Jennifer now explains that she has been very concerned about giving Xavier the wrong impression by "setting him up to hurt his feelings." I guess her point is that she has no intention of winding up with this guy, so she doesn't want to give him the impression that she does. I think she's kind of missing what the panel is trying to tell her, which is that she may have been a little quick to decide about the "no intention of winding up with this guy" part. Non-Doctor Don accuses Jennifer of setting up her "emotional world" in a certain way and being unwilling to change it. "There are other ways of maintaining control," he says, "other than being cold, brittle, and distant." (You'll notice that he didn't say there were better ways.) Jennifer looks quite gobsmacked at this remark. "Those are very strong words," she says. "If you really think that, I don't know what to say."

Egghead says that now it's time for the panel to put their "heads" together and decide who is destined to leave the Huggy-Boo next. He tells them how important it is to make the right decision, because it's crucial to the couples, but once again, the panel doesn't even leave the room. They just lean over and whisper, and it seems to take about ten seconds. Thanks for concentrating so hard, guys. They hand the card to Egghead, who reveals the non-shocking news that the engagement is over for Jennifer and Xavier. Duh. Not quite ready to roll over and go away nicely, Jennifer says that she wants to say something. She says that she was open to listening to the panel, but that she thinks that the "cold, brittle, and distant" remark was too harsh, and that if she ever had a therapist who said that to her, she would find a new therapist. I think it's safe to say that if I ever had a therapist who administered my therapy on television, I would find a new therapist, but I suppose ours is not to reason why. "Thanks for letting us know your thoughts," says "Dr." Jenn, as Non-Doctor Don looks on cluelessly. He has a very simian face, that Non-Doctor Don. And now, dramatically, Jennifer gives the ring back to Xavier, and Xavier transfers it to Egghead. That is the stupidest elimination gimmick of all time. It's actually stupider than the torch, and that is really saying something. Xavier and Jennifer leave. Off with you skanks!

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Married By America

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