Married By America
Episode 6

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Au Revoir, Freedomy

Animals frolic on the grounds of the Huggy-Boo estate as we fade up on Day 5. Billie Jeanne's friends Paige and Duane come walking up toward Tony and Billie Jeanne's house. Her friends? The hell? The producers are so making this show up as they go along. Furthermore, Paige and Duane are walking up the last part of a very, very long driveway, so either they got dumped out of a truck right before the cameras were turned on, or they walked here from, like, Wyoming. They knock on the door, and Billie Jeanne answers. She is so excited to see them that she starts screaming and jumping up and down and basically freaks. She interviews that this was a great surprise. Again with the redundant voice-overs -- I am not an idiot, here, people. When Billie Jeanne bounced up and down and almost sproinged out of her top, I kind of got the picture. Billie Jeanne introduces Paige and Duane to Tony, who is very blasé about meeting them. Duane interviews that he could "see the affection" between Tony and Billie Jeanne. Understandable, given that they probably did it on the table during dinner. Duane remarks to Billie Jeanne and Tony that it seems to be working, and she confirms that it is. Tony is very quiet.

Xavier opens the door to find that his friend Mike and his sister Virginie have come to visit. The best thing about this visit is that it provides an excellent opportunity to be reminded that Xavier really does have a fantabulous smile, not that he's had much to smile about lately. Anyway, he introduces Jennifer to them.

Elsewhere, Jill opens the door to Robert and Johnny, Kevin's friends. They greet her happily. In a weird interview where he has a pillow across his crotch, Kevin remarks that Johnny and Robert are two of his friends from Orlando. (I personally think that the best thing to do in this segment would have been to send in two people who don't know either half of the couple, and then they'd both assume the people were the other person's friends. How long would it take for someone to say, "Wait, I don't know these people -- you don't know them either?")

Over at the Bucket Hat Villa, Denise opens the door and looks only very mildly excited to see her sister Dawn. I get the feeling that the relationship between Denise and her sister is, to say the least, complicated. I guess they also couldn't find a second person who wanted to visit Denise, and that's kind of sad. Denise doesn't give Dawn a reaction of full-on excitement, just a sort of "Oh...my...God!" She says, though, that it was great to introduce Dawn to Stephen. Stephen interviews that it was good to see Denise happy to see her sister. Or something. Dawn interviews that her first impression was that Stephen was "a hottie." Way to accentuate the positive, there, Dawn.

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Married By America

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