Married By America
Episode 6

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Miss Alli: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Au Revoir, Freedomy

Out by the pool, Dawn, Denise, and Stephen lounge. Shockingly, Denise seems to be on a five-minute break from her quest to make Stephen kiss her. Notably, Dawn interviews that one of her concerns is "whether Stephen can give [Denise] the attention she needs." Apparently, this is a running theme in Denise's life. The music is tense as Dawn bugs Denise and Stephen about their failure to make out. She doesn't understand why it's such a big deal. She remarks that they need to "open up with each other more," and Denise snots, "We had no problems before you got here." Oh, dear. I'd say you did have some problems, there, little miss Please Please Kiss Me Before I Explode. I also think it's interesting that Denise immediately gets really mad at Dawn for butting into their personal business about the fact that they haven't kissed, when Dawn makes it clear that Denise is the one who complained about that to Dawn in the first place. I'm sorry, but if you don't want people getting in your business, the best place to start is not to invite them into it. "We're dealing with it the way we're dealing with it, and that's all right," Denise snaps at her sister. Yeah, Dawn! They're dealing with it! Denise is accusing Stephen of being gay, and Stephen's sweating like a pig because Denise won't back off! They're handling it! It's totally covered! Whatever.

Sunset at Huggy-Boo. Denise and Stephen are getting into bed on the night-cam. Stephen interviews that as they got into bed, Denise "wasn't too happy." God, is she ever? Denise interviews that she "didn't want to force [Stephen] into anything," by which she means, "I wanted to get him to have sex with me without making it seem like I was forcing him into anything." In bed, Denise whispers to Stephen. "C'mere," she says. He turns over so that they're facing each other. She says: "I don't understand. I'm attractive, I'm smart, I'm successful, I have a good personality...what's the problem?" Oh, great strategy. She adds, "What more do you want?" Now she's crying: "Or do you want me to lose thirty pounds and wear sexier clothes, too?" Good plan! I find that nothing endears you to a guy like desperately begging for reassurance. "Denise," he mutters, "stop talking like that. I don't like to see you talking like that. I hate that." "I don't understand," she weeps. "Go to sleep," he tells her. "Ah, thanks...rejected again," she says sarcastically. "Stop that," he says. And then...he kisses her. And the music crashes, and they do it. Yeah, I know. It's really, really disturbingly fucked up. Of all the fucked-up things that have gone on on this show, this is by far the worst. It's like some kind of dysfunctional hit parade -- she says that people will think he's gay, he makes her feel fat, he's indicting her as flawed in some way...it's just bad. Bad, bad, bad. Incidentally, even if it wasn't completely sickening, this would be very bad strategy by Denise, because if what she wants is a relationship, she's really not doing herself any favors by talking the guy into what is essentially pity sex. I'm not sure the guy is ever going to be able to look at her in any kind of normal way once she's gotten him to sleep with her just to keep from hurting her feelings.

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Married By America

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