Married By America

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | 463 USERS: C+
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Family Slapshots

Interestingly, Stephen's family and Denise's family hit it off like crazy. Stephen's mom says she knew right away that she was going to like Denise's family, and Carol (Denise's mom) says that it was "very comfortable" being with the PlazaPizzas. "I truly believe they've embraced my daughter," she says. Which is, of course, more than we can say for Stephen himself. (Rim shot! Ha-cha-cha-cha! Someone smack me. Seriously. ["[Fwap.]" -- Sars]) Sister Dawn, meanwhile, has noticed a major change in the tone of Stephen and Denise's relationship since last she saw them. She comments that they're more "affectionate" as we see them exchange a little peck. "I am so excited!" she says. Stephen's mom thinks Denise "would make a great wife" for Stephen. I think Denise should marry Stephen's mom. Or Stephen should marry Dawn. Wasn't there supposed to be voting? I would vote for that. Imagine the Denise wigging out that would ensue.

Stephen takes Denise's dad out for a private talk. He interviews that he thought it was "his duty" to ask Dad whether he could marry Denise. Ah, yes, the discussion about transfer of ownership. So charming, that. Back in the pizza kitchen among the sauce and the crusts, Stephen acknowledges to Denise's dad that "this is not your standard situation," but he would like to ask "for [his] daughter's hand." You know, I don't completely hate the idea of having a conversation with a girl's family when you want to marry her, but the idea of actually singling out her dad and specifically making the "hand" remark is just...a little more than I can endorse. It's only a few steps short of the girl's family presenting the guy's family with a dowry consisting of three cows and a goat. And in this case, I guess, a frozen lasagna. Denise's dad basically says, "Yeah, marry her, that's fine," and they shake hands. Wow, that was a warm moment. Dad interviews that he was happy that Stephen had "the courtesy and decency" to ask him about marrying Denise. Hey, that's almost exactly what happened with Trista's dad and Ryan! Wait, are we sure that isn't Trista's dad? Anyway, whatever works on The Bachelor, I guess, is a safe bet for life. "I think they're going to make a great couple," Dad tells us. Back in the pizza kitchen, he says to Stephen, "Have a lot of little ones." This presumably reminds Stephen that if he marries Denise, he will have to touch her, so he's all ooged out again. Now that we've seen Denise's dad give Stephen the go-ahead, Stephen againterviews that Denise's dad gave him the go-ahead. A big family picture is taken. Cheese! (In more ways than one.)

Married By America

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